


To Even the Odds

by Heza



Series: Curiosity [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Chex - Freeform, F/M, Gen, Grimmons, Here be self indulgence in the form of my OC!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 18:05:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8724610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heza/pseuds/Heza
Summary: It's Red Vs. Blue with one additional Blue Team member... Much to Church's dismay. Maranta's hardly what one would call a typical solider, so he fits right in with the band of misfits that make up the Blue Army. There's a whole host of new adventures to be had and shenanigans abound.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alright guys, I'll be honest, this is mostly just me plopping my OC into the universe and seeing how this hecks up the canon events. :'D Some things will follow par the course still though I've got some plans for certain characters... I like exploring to see how just one additional personality can change the whole game.  
> Also thanks for checking this out despite my awkwardly worded summary. Summaries are hard. :c  
> Enjoy~
> 
> Thanks to Salt aka Saltsanford for betaing this too! Super appreciative of that. ;3;
> 
> Heza

“Well, just send us _somebody!_ They’re kicking our asses out here!” A pause. “C-Captain Flowers? Oh, uh, he’s- he’s busy. Yeah. Busy. Running. Drills. With Private Tucker. Asked me to make this call _for some more god damn men._ ” Another, longer pause. “Fine, _okay!_ I don’t _care_ , just send them!”

Chuch clicked his radio off with a groan, putting a hand to his head. Blue Command was, as always, useless. Flowers never seemed to have a problem with them. When he called Command, Flowers would get what he needed within a few days. But Flowers was two weeks dead, and Command was nowhere near as helpful to Church. He had just spent the last _hour_ arguing with Vic to send another soldier or two down to Blue Base, since it was only Tucker and himself against the Reds now. Church didn’t like those odds… especially since Tucker was a rookie and, to be honest, not all that great of a soldier.

 

“So, how’d it go?” 

Speak of the Devil… Church turned around, jumping slightly when he came face to face with the aqua coloured armour that had once belonged to Flowers. It took his brain a few moments to remember that Tucker had switched out his armour for Flowers’. “Jesus,” he grumbled as his heart settled, “are you actually going to wear that?”

“Well, we put Flowers in my old armour so hell yeah I’m doing to wear it!” Tucker scoffed, gesturing towards the caves on the cliffs where they had buried Flowers body. “What else am I going to do? Fight the Reds in my kevlar?”

“It really doesn’t bother you that you _stole_ the armour of our dead Captain,” Church deadpanned, “and that you’re wearing the armour of a dead man.”

Tucker tilted his head, silent a moment, before giving it a shake. “Naw man not really. This colour is way better than regulation blue!” 

Church shook his head. “You’re weird as hell, you know that?”

“Actually Church, I think you’ll find that the ladies call me _fine_ as hell.” Tucker made finger guns at him. “So, is Command going to send us more soldiers or what?” 

Church sighed. Tucker, he was learning the longer he was in the canyon, seemed to consider himself a ladies man, expect he carried himself in a way that was mostly posturing. Church doubted Tucker had slept with even a quarter of the people he claimed to have. “Yes,” he confirmed, “two actually. Command got word that the Reds were getting an extra man, so they wanted to make sure the sides here are as even as possible.” Though it’d be better if they sent them enough men for an _advantage_ over the Reds, but Church supposed he’d have to be happy with an even team rather than a disadvantage.

“Great! When will they be here?”

“The first should be arriving within a week. The other shortly after. Guess they’re coming from different training camps.” Church explained.

“Better than nothing I guess,” Tucker shrugged as he strolled past Church. He put a hand to his visor and leaned towards the direction of Red Base, far at the other end of the canyon. “Just as long as they get here before the Reds notice we’re down a man. You told Command it was urgent right?”

“Of course I did!” Church had, repeatedly, tried to make it clear that they needed men _fast_. “At least, I tried my damnedest. Ever since Flowers died… I don’t know. it’s like they’re being intentionally difficult.” 

Fitting, really, considering how everything else in his life seemed to be intentionally difficult for him.

“Glad you made the call then. Vic kind of bugs me.” Tucker looked back towards him. “… What do you think they’ll be like? The new guys.”

“How the fuck should I know?” Church rolled his eyes. “It’s not like they send little personality blurbs about them. Knowing my luck, they’re either going to idiots or assholes. Or idiot assholes.” Church turned away to head back into the base. “Come on. We’re going to have to prepare for the new guys, set up bunks and double check the rations. Make sure we’ve got what we need.”

 

Tucker followed. “Hey,” he said eagerly, “think one will be a chick?”

“Why do you care?” Church regretted the question the moment it left his mouth.

“Because, Church, that’ll give me something to _do_ in this canyon if you know what I mean.” The grin on his face was practically audible as he made a vague thrusting motion with his hips. “Bow chika bow wow!”

Church closed his eyes. “Dear god I hate you.”

“Eh, you hate everything. So that doesn’t really mean much coming form you.” Tucker suddenly bounded forward, pushing past Church. “Dibs on counting rations!”

“Hey! Wait-!” Too late. Tucker rounded a corner and disappeared from sight. Church growled. “You better not be jerking off in there!” His shout received no reply. He fucking hated this team.

 

**

 

Command, at the very least, had made good on the timing for the first soldier being sent. He arrived within a week, decked out in light blue armour, more saturated than Church’s, a pistol on his hip, and a battle rifle on his back

There was just one problem.

“Private Maranta, reporting for duty!” He saluted, standing at attention as Church and Tucker stared down at him. 

Literally down. The “soldier” was shorter than even Church, and his voice was soft and high pitched. Church was glad his helmet was hiding his gawking. Had Command sent them a kid?!

“… Sirs?” Maranta continued when neither Church nor Tucker spoke, “is everything alright?”

“Private Maranta,” Church spoke slowly, still processing everything, “how the _fuck_ did you get in the army?” 

“Excuse me?” Maranta’s voice managed to go up an octave. “Wh-what does that mean?”

“Uh, it means how the hell were you able to convince the recruiters that you’re of age?” Tucker chimed in, looking Maranta up and down. “Have your balls even dropped yet dude?”

Maranta seemed at a loss for a moment before bristling. “Really? You think I’m a- I’m twenty-four!” There was a muttered “assholes”, under his breath that Church only just caught.

“Riiiight.” Church’s voice dripped with sarcasm as he gestured towards himself. “And I’m the leader of the UNSC.” He snorted as Maranta made a series of flustered sounds. “Whatever, I don’t care. You’re here now, so might as well make use of you. I’m Private Church and this,” he jerked his thumb towards Tucker, “is Private Tucker.”

Tucker gave a mock salute. “Sup, kid?”

“Hold on, you’re both Privates?” Maranta’s voice went back to it’s regular pitch. Which meant it was still high as hell. “Wheres the Captain?” He looked between them and towards the Base. “I was told I was going to be assigned to Captain Flowers’ team.”

Church suddenly felt awkward, shuffling his feet. “Oh uh… yeah he… he died.” He coughed, turning his head away from Maranta. “I’m sort of filling in for him ANYWAY-“ he continued quickly, turning back towards him, “just go set up in base alright? There’s a data pad chip on your bunk for you that contains the basics about what we’re doing here. Just… Go make yourself comfortable. I guess.”

Maranta stared at Church for a few moments, slowly shaking his head. “… Right. Okay,” he said hesitantly, “I’ll go… do that then.” He gave another glance between Tucker and Church before walking past them. “Dad never had to deal with shit like this…” he mumbled, walking into the base.

 

Once Church felt Maranta was well out of earshot he turned towards Tucker, “Holy shit,” he exasperated, gesturing in the direction Maranta had gone, “can you fucking believe it? They sent us a kid!” Church let his arm drop to his side in an angry flop. “How did he get through basic without anyone noticing?”

“Well the war with the aliens is getting real bad, isn’t it?” Tucker reasoned, shrugging, “so maybe they lowered recruiting age? Or maybe he’s just like… a super competent super soldier or something.”

“Oh like they’d send us a competent soldier against these Red assholes.” Church snorted. “All the really good soldiers probably get sent to fight the Covenant.” He sighed and reached for his sniper rifle that was leaning against the base walls. “Come on, while he’s checking out the base, we should go check up on the Reds. See if they’ve gotten their new soldier yet.”  
“Just gunna leave him in there alone?” Tucker asked, surprised. “What if he comes out here and sees that we’re gone? Might think the Reds attacked or something.”

“Tucker I really don’t care.” Church peered through the scope, making sure it was still properly aligned. “Besides, it’s not like we’re going to be up on those cliffs for long. All they ever do is stand around and talk.” Yup, looked like the scope was still working good. Or, at least, Church thought it was. He hadn’t gotten a proper lesson from Flowers before he suddenly died. 

“Alright alright.” Tucker held up his hands. “Guess it’s better than sitting on our ass all day.”

In reality, Church just needed time away from the new recruit. Just his luck really, that Command would send some teenaged brat.

 

**

 

Church and Tucker returned to the base within a half hour, arguing.

“Would you _stop_ complaining about the tank already?” Church’s hands were clutched around his rifle and he was sorely tempted to throw it to the ground in frustration. “Tank beats armour plated car any day. We’re finally going to get a real, proper leg up on the Reds and all you can think about are chicks! Of which, just to remind you in case you’ve forgotten, there are ZERO of in the canyon.”

“Look man, I’m just trying to think of the future!” Tucker countered, holstering his pistol as he walked down the ramp into Blue Base. “Like, once the war is over! We’re going to be war heroes. Chicks may dig that shit, but it all means nothing if we don’t have a sweet ride to pick them up in!”

“Tucker, it doesn’t matter. Whatever vehicles Command sends us, they’re just going to take back once the war is done. We’re not going to get to keep them.” He set his rifle down against the wall. “So would you please stop your bitching?”

Tucker grumbled, kicking his locker open. “I don’t bitch nearly half as much as you do.”

Church turned on him, glaring hard through the visor of his helmet. “Tucker, I swear to god-“

“Excuse me.” Church sighed as Headache Number 2 approached and turned to face him. Maranta was standing by the far doorway, arms folded against his chest.

“What is it Maranta?” He asked as he turned to face the smaller soldier. Church noted that, other than a pistol on his hip, Maranta was unarmed and no longer carrying his bag. Must have unpacked already then.

“I was reading over my briefing files,” Maranta began, shifting his weight from foot to foot, “and I was wondering, what’s all this about a Red base and a Red army?”

“Well, Maranta,” Church crouched slightly, hands on his knees, as if he was speaking to a child, “those would be our enemies.” 

Which, to be honest, was probably the case. Maranta had to be only sixteen, maybe seventeen. He knew the war against the Covenant was getting bad, even if he was just stuck fighting the Reds, but had it really become so bad that they had to take in teens?

“Isn’t our enemy the Covenant?” Maranta questioned as he continued to fidget. He was repeatedly flexing his hand in agitation. “You know- the aliens trying to destroy all of humanity? That we’ve been at war with for _over two decades_?”

Church stood up straight with a shrug. “Yeah, I don’t exactly know the whole story? All I know is that when I got here they handed me a gun and said “shoot those guys” and that’s what I’ve been doing.”

Tucker snickered loudly behind him. “Well, I wouldn’t say that exactly. You’ve certainly been trying to shoot them.” 

Church whipped his head around and gave Tucker the dirtiest look he could muster despite the fact he was currently wearing a helmet. It did nothing to stop Tucker from continuing to chuckle.

His attention was abruptly brought back to Maranta who seemed to give a hiss of anger. “Are you serious?! This is _not_ what I signed up for!” He took a breath, lowering his shoulders, taking a moment before continuing with,“I want to help stop the Great War, not fight in some pointless backwater skirmish.”

“Hey, maybe if complain to Command enough they’ll grant you your death wish.” Church sneered slightly. So Maranta had join the army as a glory seeker. 

“I just think,” Maranta said slowly, voice strained, “that our time could be better spent someplace else.”

Tucker walked by Church to clap a hand on Maranta’s shoulder. “Look, from what I’ve seen so far, we’re just a bunch of arguing idiots fighting a bunch of arguing idiots. So, yeah, our time would probably be spent better someplace else.” He shrugged. “No one here is against you. Well, expect Church. But he’s an asshole so don’t worry about him.”

 

Church gritted his teeth as Maranta chuckled and nodded. Since arriving in this canyon his life had been absolutely miserable. He had thought Blood Gulch was rock bottom but apparently not. The Universe had other ideas, it seemed, and those ideas involved not one but two idiots on his team.

Typical really.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEEEH look what I'm finally getting around to doing!!  
> Being an animation student is hard guys.  
> But once school is done I'll try to have a real schedule for this.
> 
> Once again thanks to Salt for helping me by being my beta! You're a wonderful person. ;3;

It turned out Church was wrong yet again about hitting rock bottom. His life went from “god awful” to “shit-fucking-tastic” when the second recruit arrived. Maranta had proven to be a stubborn asshole, while the new recruit, Michael J, Caboose, very quickly proving himself to be a fucking idiot as he had yet to shut up since arriving on at the base. He was making it very difficult for Church to enjoy the beautiful, shiny metal tank that was sitting in front of him. 

Eventually, Tucker seemed to have had enough as he turned to face Caboose. “Hey, kid? You’re ruining the moment. Shut up.”

Maranta, who was standing a few feet away, gave a loud snort. “What moment? It’s just a tank.” He seemed far less impressed by the heavy machinery as he reached a hand out towards Caboose. “Don’t worry about it.” Caboose gave a tiny, awkward laugh in return, falling silent.

Church took a breath and decided he wasn’t going to let either Caboose nor Maranta ruin this moment for him. “You know,” he said, still staring at the tank in wonder, “I could blow up the whole god damn world in this thing.” He could drive right down the middle of Blood Gulch and kill all the damn Reds. And then, hopefully, be deployed somewhere far far away from here.

Except Tucker and Maranta were bickering loudly over the radio now. “It’s not JUST a tank,” Tucker was saying, gesturing towards it, “we’re going to be able to kill all the Reds and have run of the whole canyon! All they have is a shitty little car and we’ve got a _tank_!”

“Look, I understand being excited when we get shiny new equipment,” Maranta shook his head, “but that doesn’t mean we’re going to win this skirmish without a hitch.” He made it a point to never called it a war. “Don’t count your chickens and all that.”

Tucker turned away from Maranta abruptly, almost bouncing a little. “Oh man _chicks-_ I totally take back what I said before. Chicks will definitely dig this tank. We could pick up two or three chicks a piece!”

Church groaned and looked over his shoulder. Maranta was echoing his groan, putting a hand to his head. “Just- listen to you,” Church rolled his eyes beneath his helmet, “you wouldn’t even know what to do with two chicks.”

“Church, please,” Tucker scoffed. “Women are like Voltron! The more you hook up, the better it gets. Right?” He nudged Maranta in the ribs.

Maranta pulled away, groaning loudly again. “Really, Tucker?”

“What?” Tucker brought his elbow down, voice incredulous. “Come on. You can’t tell me you’ve never wanted to get it on with two, or more, chicks.”

“… I can honestly say I’ve never have.” Maranta deadpanned.

“Whatever dude, your loss.” Tucker came back up next to Church. “You get me right? You ever wanted to be the meat of a Church-sandwich between two chicks?”

“Please never say “Church-sandwich” again.” Maranta sighed heavily.

 

“Actually,” Church ignored Tucker’s question, “I’m uh… I’ve already got a girl.”

“Really?” Tucker pulled back, surprised. “You’ve got a wife?”

Church felt his cheeks heat up and he was so glad for the helmet at that moment. He was sure Tucker would never let him live that down. “No man she’s just my girlfriend…” He rocked sheepishly on his heels for a moment. He wasn’t _entirely_ sure Tex would approve of him calling her his girlfriend but they hadn’t officially ended it. She had just had her mind taken over by a hostile AI. They were totally still dating.

“Never would have expected you to have a girlfriend.” Maranta snorted.

Church flipped him off without even looking. The gesture had already become a reflex in less than two weeks. “I was going to propose to her,” he continued with Tucker, “but I got shipped out and… Well you know how it goes.” Again, that AI was a big hitch in his plans too. But he didn’t exactly feeling like sharing that.

“So you going to marry her when you get back?” Tucker asked. “Hope out of the ship and get down on one knee in the space port?”

Church opened his mouth to reply but Caboose suddenly spoke up again. “I’m not going to get married,” he said, tone nonchalant. “My Dad always told me, “why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”.”

Silence fell among the four of them and Church’s blood began to boil. He took a few steps forward. “Hey. Rookie,” he said dangerously, “did you just call my girlfriend a cow?” 

“Naw, he definitely just called her a slut.” Tucker explained helpfully. From the corner of his eye, Church saw Maranta hang his head and shoulders with a sigh.

 

“You know, newbie, it turns out I’ve got a special job for you,” Church said past gritted teeth and barely controlled anger. 

“Oh. Great.” Caboose’s shoulders sagged.

“See, we’ve got this General,” he began carefully, gleefully noticing Tucker nod enthusiastically.

“Yeah,” he said, “this uh… the General guy.

Church was suddenly no longer pleased with Tucker. “He comes by and makes random inspections to the base,” he continued quickly before Tucker could screw this up further. “We never know exactly when he’s going to come by. So what I want you to do is go stand by the flag at attention! Look all professional and disciplined and shit.”

To Church’s utter delight Caboose bought it. “Oh… So he’s coming around today sometime?”

“Who knows?” Tucker interjected with a shrug. “It could be today… Could be a week from now. That’s the whole point to a random inspection.”

“You want me to stand at attention… for a week?”

Church came up beside Caboose and slung an arm over his shoulder. “You know newbie, you don’t sound very thankful. Making sure the flag is good and secure is one of the most important job in the whole base! Those dirty Reds would do anything to get their hands on it, and you’ll be its last line of defence.”

From the corner of his eye, Church saw Maranta shaking his head, arms folded over his chest. Church ignored him.

“What’s special about the flag?” Caboose asked, tilting his head to one side like a confused puppy.

“Oh, come _on_ don’t they teach you guys anything in training?” Church made a show of hanging his head with a sigh. “Seriously, those guys are slacking.”

“They didn’t teach us anything about a flag… Just stuff like how to carry our guns and how to march.” Caboose shook his head. “Why’s the flag so important?”

“Church, really, this has gone far enough-“ Maranta began, stepping towards them, but Church was quick to cut him off. What a fucking kill joy.

“Because it’s the _flag_ man, you know it’s… It’s the flag!” Church floundered for a moment. Caboose was starting to pull back from him, clearly doubting the whole thing. Church turned back towards Tucker, quickly saying, “hey, Tucker, you tell him what’s so great about the flag.”

Tucker faltered a moment. “Well it’s… it’s complicated, see? It’s blue, _we’re_ blue…”

“Exactly.” Church nodded. “It’s a symbol of all that it means to be in the Blue Army! Helps keep moral up! And the General would be _furious_ if anything happened to it. So just… Go in there. Far away from us. And wait for him.” Church pulled back from Caboose, dropping his arm from the other’s shoulder and pushed him slightly towards the base.

Caboose hesitated a moment before nodding. He only got a few feet away when he turned around again. “H-how will I know when I see him?”

“There’s only four of us out here, Rookie,” Tucker pointed out, shrugging. “He’ll be the guy who doesn’t look like any of us.”

“Now hurry up and get in there and don’t come out!” Church’s patience was on thin ice and already beginning to crack. “Man,” he grumbled as Caboose disappeared from sight, “that guy’s dumber than you are.”

“You mean he’s dumber than _you_ are.” Tucker snapped back.

Church snorted. “Wow Tucker. What an excellent comeback.”

“UH,” Caboose was back in the doorway of the base. “Mr Church? Sir?”

Church’s hands clenched into fists. “Oh my god- WHAT?!” He looked towards Tucker, “I swear I’m going to kill him…!”

“Sorry about… Um… Sorry about calling your girl a slut.” Caboose said, toeing the ground shamefully.

 

_Snap_ went Church’s patience. 

  
“ROOKIE!” Church shouted, stomping forward and gesturing angrily with his hands. “SHUT UP. JUST SHUT UP YOU’RE DRIVING ME CRAZY! GET THE FUCK BACK IN THE FUCKING BASE!”

Caboose gave a startled jump and scrambled back into the base. From behind him, Church heard Tucker giggle. He turned slowly on the spot, his blood boiling. “Tucker. Are you laughing at me?” He asked, voice low.

Tucker continued to snicker. “Come on, it’s pretty funny watching him get under your skin.”

Maranta huffed loudly over the radio. “It was god awful, yelling at him like that. Not to mention tricking him! If you’re the standing Captain you shouldn’t be playing pranks on your men.” He chided. 

Church looked towards Maranta, rolling his eyes beneath his helmet. “He called my girlfriend a slut, Maranta, I really don’t care.”

“It’s an abuse of power-“ Maranta began, his voice raising, but was cut off by the return of Caboose.

“Excuse me, Sirs? Can I ask a question?”

Chruch closed his eyes and slowly exhaled. “Dear God in _Heaven_ rookie, if you’re still standing there when I turn around… I-I can’t be held responsible for what I’m going to do to you!”

“What did I do?”

“One.”

“Aw come on, give me a break-“

“TWO…!” 

“FINE.” 

 

Church took a deep breath. “Better.” 

His relief was short lived as Maranta wasted in time in getting right up in Church’s space, looking up at him. “You can’t act like this,” he said sharply, jabbing a finger in Church’s chest.

Church swatted his hand away. “Maranta, I’m really not sure how much clearer I can make this. I. Don’t. Care.” He emphasized. “I’ve been stuck in this ass-crack of a canyon for only a few months now and I’ve already reached the point of not giving a single fuck about any of this.” He glared down at him. Church had been the shortest on the team until Maranta arrived and damn it felt good to have someone to stand over.

“If you don’t care then why did you assume a leader’s position?” Maranta put a hand on his hips and gestured towards Tucker with his other. “Why not let Tucker be in charge?”

“Wow, hang on, let’s not bring me into this.” Tucker said quickly, putting his hands up and taking a few steps back.

“ _Please,_ ” Church scoffed, “like Tucker could lead this army.”

“Army?!” Maranta barked a laugh over Tucker’s hurt, “aw come on man”, shaking his head. “There’s four of us! Against three Reds! This is a backwater skirmish. We’re no more an “army” than you are a real leader.” 

“Well, maybe if I had half decent soldiers instead of you pieces of shits, I’d actually give a damn about leading!” Church countered, his own voice raising.

“You wouldn’t know a decent soldier if they came up and shot you in the foot.”

“And just what do you think exactly makes a decent solider huh? You?”

“I never said that I-“

“Then good, we agree, because you’re a fucking useless solider!”

Church must have struck a nerve because Maranta flinched back and away from him, his hand a clenched fist. “… You’re a fucking asshole, you know that?” He breath heavily, like he was barely containing his anger. 

“And you’re a killjoy.” Church bit back, turning to face Tucker once he was sure Maranta wasn’t about to deck him. “Alright, let’s test out the fucking tank already. Get in, Tucker.

 

Tucker was pulled back slightly from the both of them, hands half way raised towards his head, like he was about to duck in cover. “… _Dude._ ”

“Oh what?” Church made a show of rolling his eyes, looking briefly at Maranta. The smaller soldier was looking at the ground, still seething. Church scoffed slightly before looking back at Tucker. “Just get in the tank.”

“I-I can’t drive that thing.” Tucker stammered, shaking his head.

“You’re telling me you’re not armoured certified?” Church huffed, turning his head towards Maranta again. “Hey asshole, you know how to drive the tank?”

“… No.” Maranta said stiffly.”

“D-don’t you know how to drive the tank?” Tucker asked quickly, looking prepared to bolt if another fight broke out.

“No! Ho-ly crap! Who is running this army?!” Church threw his hands up into the air, exasperated. 

“Isn’t that supposed to be you?” Maranta deadpanned.

Church whirled back on Maranta, hand raised in an accusing point, when Caboose interrupted to once again ruin his day.

“Hey! Just wanted to let you know- the general stopped by! He picked up the flag!”

“Yeah, okay, WHATEVER MORON!” Church flipped off Caboose over his shoulder. Today was not his best day ever. “Why would they give us a tank if nobody can… drive… Wait a second.” He turned back towards the base. “What did he just say?”

“I… I thought there was no general.” Maranta’s voice was slowly dropping the anger and worry was creeping in.

“There isn’t.” Tucker said slowly. 

“… Son of a bitch.” Church swore and took off running towards the base.

 

**

 

Church scanned the canyon through the scope of his sniper rifle, muttering curses under his breath.

“And someone came in, who did not look like any of us, and asked me if we had any elbow grease or headlight fluid. And when I said no, he asked for the flag! So… I gave him the flag.” Caboose explained, wringing his hands together. “… Is that bad?” He asked, shuffling uncertainly on the spot.

“Bad?” Church gritted his teeth. “Oh no, that’s not _bad_. Next time, why don’t you let him help himself to our rations? Or our ammo? Or help him blow up the whole damn base?!”

“Well, _maybe_ if you hadn’t tricked him into expecting someone to inspect the flag, this wouldn’t have happened.” Maranta grumped, arms folded across his chest. 

“Oh shove it Maranta.” Church snapped.

Beside him, Tucker bounced on the spot suddenly, pointing. “Oh, there! There I see him!”

“Where?” Church whipped his sight around before settling on a spot of red in the distance. “O-oh yeah there I got him. He’s sneaking up behind the cliffs.”

“Must be one smart son of a bitch…” Tucker shook his head.

“… Except all he took was our flag.” Maranta pointed out.

“Yeah, because this moron _gave_ it to him.” Church growled as Caboose protested quietly in the background.

“I _mean_ , _”_ Maranta bit back, “that he didn’t, you know, take any of our rations, or ammo, or blow up the base.”

Church shot him a glare through his visor before tracking the soldier again. “There he is- oh shit.” He swore softly once had had a better view of him. “Guys, look at his armour. It’s Red.”

“… Wouldn’t all their soldiers be clad in red armour?” Maranta asked. “Like how we’re all in blue?”

“Yeah, but he’s wearing _Red_ armour. Standard issue Red.” Church explained.

Tucker groaned. “Aw man, that mean it’s their sergeant!” Tucker hing his head and his shoulders drooped.

“Exactly. It does make sense.” Church lowered the rifle for a moment to look back at Tucker. “That explains how he got pas out defences.”

“… You know… He came in the back door. Where you guys were all standing.” Caboose pointed out slowly.

“Yes well we were a little bit distracted.” Maranta coughed, sounding ashamed. _No fucking shit_ , Church thought. Maranta had been too busy throwing a hissy fit over a harmless prank.

That had cost them the flag.

Church grumbled.

 

“Well, let’s just take him out.” Tucker interjected quickly as he side stepped away from Church and Maranta.

Church nodded, levelling the rifle at the Red. “Roger that. Say goodnight Sarge.”

 

BAM BAM BAM BAM!

 

Not a single shot hit.

 

“Crap…” Church grunted, lowering his rifle. From the corner of his eye, he could see Maranta, Tucker, and Caboose staring. “… What?”

“Dude,” Tucker chuckled, “you’re really bad with that thing.

Church growled in response. Out in the canyon, the Red began to wave the flag and dance back and forth on the spot. He seemed to be shouting, though Church couldn’t make out the words.

“Great. Now he’s taunting us.” Tucker huffed. “How embarrassing.”

“That’s it,” Church scowled as he stood up sharply. “I’ve _had_ it. Caboose, Maranta, you two stay here. Tucker, you’re with me. We’ll head through the teleporter and cut him off.”

“Church, it’s just a flag.” Maranta stepped forward. “We can just get another one. It’s not worth engaging him in combat.”

“No way in hell, Maranta.” Church shook his head. “I’m not letting those _Reds_ get the better of us.” As Maranta threw his hands into the air and stalked away, Church turned to Tucker. “Come on, you ready? Let’s go!”

Tucker, however, was slowly backing away from the teleporter. “There is _no way_ I’m going through that thing.” 

“Tucker!” Church gestured towards the teleporter with his free hand. “We don’t have time for this. Why would they give us a teleporter that doesn’t work?”

“Well they gave us a tank no one can drive. Right now, I don’t exactly have a lot of faith in Command.” Tucker retorted, shaking his head.

“Tucker, we tested the damn thing remember.” Church fought to keep his voice calm. “It’s perfectly fine.”

“We threw _rocks_ through it!” Tucker looked back towards Maranta. “And they came out covered in black stuff and smoking on the other side. I wouldn’t exactly call that “perfectly fine”.”

“That… Sounds really dangerous. And probably painful.” Maranta said slowly. “You shouldn’t go through it. Though if _Church_ wants to go then by all means..”

“It’s FINE,” Church insisted through clenched teeth. “No one’s going to get hurt. Come on Tucker, what are you afraid of? A little black stuff?”

“Yes I am.” Tucker deadpanned, still refusing to take one step towards the teleporter. “I am afraid of black stuff.”

Church sighed heavily. “You know, Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you.” He slowly raised his pistol.

Tucker stared down the barrel of the gun. “You _wouldn’t_ ,” he breathed just as Maranta let out a shocked “ _Church!”_

“You know, I’m looking at it this way,” Church said cooly, continuing to point his gun at Tucker. “Either A: We go through this thing and get our fucking flag back or B: I get to shoot you. Either way? I win.”

A stunned silence fell across the three other Blues. Caboose was slowly edging towards Maranta, whom, Church noted, had a hand on his own pistol.

 

Before Maranta could draw it however, Tucker took a breath. “Just for the record I want you to know… rocks aren’t people,” he muttered, turning towards the teleporter.

“Duly noted. Now go through it.” Church pointed with his pistol. 

“Craaaap…” Tucker groaned, shaking his head. “Alright. One… Two…!” He took another breath and sprinted through the teleporter.

He did not reemerge on the other side. Church wait. Still no Tucker. He glanced towards Maranta and Caboose. Maranta had his hands pressed against his helmet where his mouth would be and Caboose was looking expectedly towards where Tucker SHOULD have been.

“He… he didn’t come out the other side…” Caboose said slowly.

“Yeah I uh… I decided I’m not going to use the teleporter.” Church swallowed nervously. “You two stay here I’ll uh… be back with the flag.” He took a step towards the edge of the base but was yanked back by an hand on his elbow. He looked back, shocked, to see Maranta standing right behind him.

“Are you _fucking serious_?!” Maranta hissed, fingers curling around Church’s elbow. “You not only _threatened_ to kill someone under your command, you’re just going to run off without checking to see if there’s something you can do to help him? He could be stuck who knows where!”

Church snatched his arm back from Maranta. “I don’t have time Maranta, I’m going to get our fucking flag back.” Before Maranta could snatch at his arm again, Church jumped from the roof to the ground.

“What the _HELL_ kind of commanding officer doesn’t look out for those under his command?!” Maranta yelled after him. Church glanced back a moment to see him throwing his hands up in the air angrily. 

“What an idiot…” Church mumbled as he ran through the canyon. Like he had the time to worry about Tucker, who was another idiot. In fact, his team was full of idiots. He bet the Reds didn’t have to deal with anything like this.

Well, it didn’t matter. He was going to get the flag back and then things could back to the way they were.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeey here's another chapter! As always thanks to Salt for helping me turn this into something readable. Hopefully I'm pulling away enough from the canon story now? If not the next three chapters definitely are.  
> Enjoy guys! =D

The newbie had killed him.

 

Not Maranta, no. Maranta hadn’t been the one driving the tank. No, that had been Caboose. Killed by his own teammate. What a way to go. At least he could take solace in the fact that it hadn’t been a kill for the Reds. 

… Yeah it didn’t actually bring him that much solace. He was still dead either way.

 

So… why was he still here?

Church stood in the middle of the canyon blinking. Or what passed for blinking when one wasn’t corporeal. The land around him seemed… _real_. Not a dream. The afterlife, then?

He glanced behind him to where Blue base was. Nope, he could see three different shades of blue armour standing around there. Tucker, Maranta, Caboose. So not the afterlife. 

He raised his hands to his face curiously. His amour was white now, and he could see through his own goddamn hand. Then the form faded away, though he was still “standing” there.

“Motherfuck. Guess I’m a ghost then.” He said out loud. Funny. He didn’t sound like a ghost. He sounded just the same really. He looked back towards where the others were and narrowed his eyes. He was going to haunt the fuck out of them. They had only been in his life for a short time and yet they had been the biggest cause of misery for him. 

Well, other than Tex getting infected with a vicious, malicious A.I. But that was a whole other story.

 

Church didn’t walk over to the base so much as he willed it to happen. He was in the middle of the canyon one moment and the next was next to the base. He opened his mouth, ready to scare the shit out of them, but stopped short as he heard Tucker say ,“Yeah they’re going to send us a Freelancer. Some dude named Tex. I hope he’s as good as they say.”

Tex. They were sending Tex. Son of a bitch.

Church floundered for a moment, torn between warning the others about Tex and letting them get their asses handed to them by her. 

As satisfying as that would be, if Tex was coming here this would be his chance to rid her of that A.I once and for all. 

With a great deal of effort and concentration Church made himself visible again. And, since he was a ghost and all, decided to play the part.

 

“Tuuuuuckeeer. Tuuuuuuucker. I’ve come baaaack with a waaarniiiiing…” He said as he appeared, doing his best not to start snickering as all three of them jumped.

“Who the hell are you?!” Tucker yelped and actually jumped behind Maranta who also looked like he was about to wet himself as he stumbled back. Both Maranta and Tucker tumbled to the ground.

“I am the ghost of Chuuuurch!” He raised his hands up, trying to appear spooky.

While Maranta and Tucker were scrambling to stand up again Caboose said loudly, “You’re not Church! Church is Blue. You’re white.”

Church sighed heavily. “Rookie shut up will you? I’m a freakin’ _ghost_. Have you ever seen a blue ghost before?”

“… Yeah that’s definitely him.” Tucker muttered as he brushed dirt off his armour.

“No doubt about that.” Maranta had a hand over his chest as if to still a rapidly beating heart.

“Now I’ve got to start over again…” Church grumbled before coughing. “Tucker. Tuuuucker. I’ve come back with a-“  
“Is it really necessary to do the voice?” Tucker sighed. 

“Yeah it’s… Kind of annoying.” Caboose agreed and Maranta nodded along with him.

“Fiiiine,” Church groaned. Geez, he was dead and these idiots were still robbing him of his fun. Just his luck. “Okay here’s the deal. I’ve come back from the dead to give you a warning about Tex.” Not exactly true. He was back before he knew they were bringing Tex here. Still they didn’t need to know that. “Don’t let-“

“What’s the warning?” Caboose asked eagerly. 

Church snapped his head to look at Caboose. “Shut up for one second and I’ll tell you!”

“Oh! Sorry,” he said sheepishly.

“Seriously, man, I’m coming back from the “Great Beyond” here, do you think this is easy?” Church shook his head, his mind feeling a bit fuzzy again. “It takes a lot of concentration.”

“Sorry…” Caboose repeated, his head dropping to look at the ground.

Church, however, continued to berate him. “I mean it’s bad enough that you killed me but now I come back and I can’t even get a word in edgewise man!” He took a slow breath, calming himself. “Okay, so here’s the deal-“

“Is this the warning?” Caboose perked up again.

Church closed his eyes. “That’s it. Your ass is haunted. When we’re done here? I’m going to haunt you.”

“Yeah you’re even starting to bug me.” Tucker turned to look at Caboose, whose head dropped again.

“Just listen, Caboose.” Maranta said gently. “It’s okay.”

Church rolled his eyes. “Okay Tucker. Remember how I said I was stationed on Sidewinder before they transferred me here right?”

“… Noooo?” Tucker tilted his head just as Caboose said “Isn’t that the ice planet?”

“Um. Yes.” Church said quickly, hoping to satisfy Caboose. 

Before he could continue Caboose was bouncing on the spot. “Cool! What was that like?!” Maranta tried to hush him.

“… It was cold.” Church deadpanned. Yeah he was definitely going to haunt Caboose when this was all done. Idiot.

“… That’s it?”

“Caboose just let him give us the warning.” Maranta patted Caboose’s shoulder. Looks like he had gotten close to Caboose while Church had been gone. Of course his two biggest headaches would be friends. Of course.

 

“Okay, well,” Church began to explain, “One day when I was there… Everything was just like normal.” The memories of that day came back. They were odd memories, a bit fuzzy around the edges. But he’ll never forget the way Tex looked at him before vanishing after she killed all those men. Sure, she might have been wearing her helmet but Church had felt it.

“I was out on patrol with my partner Jimmy. He was a good kid… Always talking about his girl back home… Real sweet.”

“Do you think I’m a good kid Church?” Tucker said eagerly. 

“Don’t get jealous. Just listen. Anyway. Regular day. Bitching about the cold, wanting to see some action… Nothing out of the ordinary. But that’s when Tex showed up.” Church paused, remembering the screams and yelling. “People just started screaming bloody murder. It was over before I knew exactly what was going on.” He took a breath. “Jimmy was the last to go. Tex snuck up behind, pulled his skull out of his head and beat him to death with it.”

That was greeted with a flat “what.” from Maranta and Tucker snorting, saying “That doesn’t seem physically possible.”

“That’s _exactly_ what Jimmy kept screaming!” Church insisted. He could almost feel the phantom pain of what Jimmy went through. A sharp, stabbing pain part way up his neck at the base of his skull. Must have been horrible. “Bottom line? Freelancers are bad news. And Tex is one of the worst.” After what they did to her… 

Well, no she always could be harsh. But even Tex wouldn’t have murdered an entire base of people. That was the A.I.

“If he’s such a badass how did you get out Church?” Caboose pipped up. 

“… I don’t know.” Church half lied. He had theories of course… Maybe Tex couldn’t bring herself to kill him? “Maybe it’s because we have a history.”

“History?” Maranta asked, “I take it it’s not exactly a positive one.” 

“You can say that.” Church shook his head. “Remember I mentioned that girl back home? Well. Tex is the real reason we never got married.” Bitterness crept into his voice. He was all set to as well when everything went to hell. He glanced down at himself and saw that he was a little more translucent than before. Weariness was creeping in. “Guys I’m fading fast… Don’t know when I’ll be back. Just listen okay? Don’t let Tex get involved here.”

“Yeah got it.” Tucker nodded with a shrug. 

“I _mean_ it Tucker. No fighting, scouting, nothing. You’ll regret it-“

 

His senses faded to black once more.

 

**

 

When Church came to again, he was standing on the top of Blue Base. In front of him stood Tucker, Maranta, and Caboose, with Caboose using the sniper rifle to look over the canyon. “Man…” Caboose was saying, “He is really kicking their asses…” while Tucker whined about not using the rifle. Maranta hushed him gently. 

Church glanced down through the roof of the base. “Oh hey! You go the flag back.”

Maranta and Tucker both jumped and Tucker turned to face him. “What the- Church!” 

“It’s Church?” Caboose turned now, lowering the rifle. 

“Yeah it’s me.” Church sighed. “Hi Caboose.”

“Whatcha up to Church?” Caboose asked pleasantly. 

“I’m sure Church isn’t here to just talk to us Caboose…” Maranta walked up beside him. “I mean, last time he was here was to warn us about Texas.” 

“Maranta’s right. How’d you guys get the flag back?” Church asked and the three of them shuffled awkwardly on the spot. “Guys?”

“We uh… We’ve always had that.” Tucker stammered, shaking his head.

“Tucker, really, who are you trying to-“ Church cut himself off as realization dawned on him. “Wait a minute… Where’s Tex?”

“He uh… He said he was going to go to the store…” Tucker flustered slightly and Maranta sighed. 

 

Church groaned. “ _Great._ This is so typical!” He rounded on them, taking an angry “step” forward. “What was the _one_ thing I told you guys the last time I was here?”

“That Sidewinder is cold!” Caboose’s hand shot up into the air like he was answering a question in class. 

Maranta’s hand caught his forearm and pulled it back down. “No, Caboose, he’s talking about Texas.”

“EXACTLY. And what did I say?”

“Not to let him get involved…?” Tucker’s shoulders came up slightly, wincing.

“ _Right.”_ Church hissed. “And what did you do?”

“… Let him get involved…” Tucker hung his head.

“And not just a little involved. How involved?” Church turned to Caboose next. Maranta took a half step forward as he did.

“… Very very involved…” Now Caboose hung his head. 

“I cannot believe you idiots-“ Church began to pace, angrily, when Maranta plopped himself in front of him. 

“We didn’t exactly have much of a choice Church.” He folded his arms over his chest. “Texas wasn’t listening to us and I don’t think he would have hesitated to shoot us if we tried to stop him. I was doing my best to keep him from using Caboose as target practice.”

“… Why’d you stop Tex from doing that?” Church asked cooly.

“Because I’m a decent human being.” Maranta seemed to bristle. 

“Whatever. Where is Tex now if you’ve got the flag back already?” Church made to shove past Maranta… Though that didn’t exactly work as he phased right through him. 

“He’s still at the base.” Caboose turned back around to lift the sniper rifle up. “See when he went to get the flag what he really said was “kill all the reds” so he’s probably doing that.”

Church growled slightly. “Great. Just _perfect_.”

 

“… Oh no.” Caboose murmured suddenly.

“What is it?” Maranta came up behind Caboose and put a hand his shoulder. 

“Well you see. I saw Tex go into the base. And now there’s no more sounds of fighting. But more reds are going into the base. So I think. He might be captured.”

Church felt his blood run cold. Never mind that he was ghost.

“Yeah, he’s definitely been captured.” Caboose paused. “Or dead. Captured or dead.” He gasped suddenly, lowering the rifle to look at Maranta. “Or captured AND dead!?”

“Fucking perfect!” Church swore loudly.

Tucker threw his hands in the air as he turned to face him. “ _What_ is your problem?! Why do you even care if he’s captured? I thought you hated that guy for stealing your girlfriend?”

Blue team was really and truly filled with idiots. 

“I never said I _hated_ Tex.” Church lowered his head, a tight feeling in his chest. “I just said _she_ was the reason we never got married.”

 

It was quiet enough to hear a pin drop, but only for a moment. 

 

“She?” Caboose tilted his head. 

“Yes Caboose, she.” Church shook is head. “I never said Tex was a guy. You just assumed that all on your own.”

“… Damn I feel like an ass now…” Maranta muttered off to the side.

“Wait wait wait.” Tucker interjected, looking from person to person rapidly. “You’re telling me that the guy who showed up here, scared the living _shit_ out of us, shot at Caboose, and beat the Reds wasn’t a guy at all? And is in fact a chick? A chick who is in fact your ex girlfriend?”

“… In a nutshell. Yes. That’s an excellent summary.” Church deadpanned.

“I should have known.” Caboose spoke up, sounding hurt. “She didn’t like me. Girls _never_ like me.” Maranta looked towards him as he said that, Church noted, but didn’t say anything.

“Caboose I don’t think anybody likes you.” Tucker snipped at him and Maranta brought up a hand. 

“Okay okay that’s enough,” he said. “Stop that.” 

Tucker huffed slightly before turning back to Church. “Well I don’t think I’ve ever met a girl this mean before. You sure she’s a chick? And not a guy? Or a… part guy part shark?”

Maranta shook his head.“Tucker, girls can be just as awful as guys.”

“Yeah. Not to mention I’m _pretty_ sure I’d know if Tex was a guy.” Church continued to deadpan as he stared Tucker down. “And I’m _definitely_ sure I’d know if she was part shark.”

“… Wait why is she named Tex?” Caboose asked suddenly. 

“Uh. Because she’s from Texas.” Church said quickly.

Another silence fell among them. Maranta raised a hand to his head, muttering slightly.

“It makes sense okay?!” Church hissed. “And you can’t blame her for being so aggressive. It’s not entirely her fault anyway.” 

“Right!” Tucker nodded. “Blame God. First He creates hangovers, and now half-woman, half-sharks who won’t even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing God!”

“ _Tucker_.” Maranta sighed, clearly exasperated. 

 

“Would you shut up with that?” Church growled. “She got recruited into weird some experimental program. They infused her armour with a really aggressive A.I. I don’t… really know how it all works. But it made her meaner and tougher than hell.”

“A.I…” Caboose said slowly, bringing a hand up and drumming his fingers on his chin. “What’s the “A” stand for?”

“… Artificial.” 

Silence fell between Church and Caboose. Caboose looked to the ground, then back to Church. “What’s the “I”-“

“ _Intelligence.”_ Church gritted his non-existent teeth.

“Ohhh. … What was the “A” again?”

Church could only stare at Caboose for a few moments before Maranta patted Caboose’s arm. “I’ll explain it later. Let’s just listen to Ghost Church alright?”

“Agree. Let’s move on.” Church said tersely, turning away from the idiots.

“So the military put this program in her head… and that program made her a killer.” Tucker clarified. “But underneath it all she’s really just a sweet, down to home girl?” 

Much to Church’s annoyance Tucker sounded hopeful. Church gleefully burst his bubble with “Oh hell no. She’s always been a rotten bitch. It’s just now she’s a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements.”

“Wow. Sounds like you really won the lottery with that one.” Tucker gave a sarcastic thumbs up. “Good catch there buddy. She’s a keeper.”

“Honestly with a boyfriend like you I can’t see how she could possibly be so awful.” Maranta’s turn to be sarcastic. He was folding his arms at Church again. “Really you’re just a pleasure to be around.”

Church flipped them both off before turning to Caboose. “You getting any of this?”

“I think so…” Caboose said slowly. “That guy Tex is _really_ a robot. And _you’re_ his boyfriend. So that makes you… A gay robot.”

Even Maranta sighed at Caboose’s antics this time as Church clenched a fist. “Yeah. That’s right. I’m a gay robot.”

 

Maranta reached a hand out to Caboose. “Don’t- don’t worry Caboose.” He turned back go Church. “So now what?”

“We’re going to rescue Tex,” he said simply, “and I’ve got a great plan.”

Maranta snorted. “Right because your last plan to get the flag worked out so well for you.”

“Hey, it was Caboose who killed me with the effing tank!” Church counted, jabbing a ghostly thumb in the direction of Caboose.

“Will it help if I say I’m sorry?” Caboose asked, pulling back ever so slightly from Church’s accusing finger.

“Your plan also involved Tucker going through an malfunctioning teleporter. After threatening him.” Maranta’s voice was flat. 

“Yeah can’t we just have a… A strategy or a mission statement?” Tucker piped up, looking from the teleporter back to Church. “Something that doesn’t involve work?”

“Look, I just need you guys to run a distraction for me.” Church resisted the urge to run a hand over his face. “Meanwhile I’ll go into the Red Base and spring Tex.”

“Distraction?” Caboose sounded nervous. “Th-that sounds a lot like decoy.”

“Because that’s exactly how he means it.” Maranta snapped. “Because Church here is apparently okay with other people getting hurt for him.”

“Should I remind you that I’m dead?” Church asked, putting a hand to the chin of his helmet. “That, other than a little black stuff, I was the only one who was hurt during my last plan?”

“Dude, it was more than a little black stuff!” Tucker threw a hand in the air in exasperation.

“Oh whatever dude, you’re still alive, I’m dead, that’s the point I’m making!” Church shook his head. “So stop throwing a fit, Jesus Christ.”

“You’re the one throwing a fit!” Maranta stepped up towards Church. 

“Okay before this becomes another Maranta-Church face off,” Tucker grabbed Maranta by the shoulder to pull him back, “let’s just hear out Church’s “brilliant” plan and then you two can tear each other’s throats out while working on a better, more safe plan.”

“Fine.” Maranta hissed slightly as he allowed Tucker to pull him back.

“Look, the way I see it, the Reds have no idea how many Freelancers we have out here. So if the three of you could just… Run about in the middle of the canyon wearing black armour that’d be _great_.” Church stared Maranta down. “That good enough for you?”

“No. First of all,” Maranta tapped his index fingers together, “not all Freelancers wear black armour.”

“Well the Reds don’t know that!” Church protested, though Maranta was right. Those guys were more colourful than Red and Blue armies to be sure. 

“Uh okay sounds good,” Tucker piped up, “but where the hell are we going to get three suits of black armour?”

Silently Church turned towards the teleporter. Tucker turned turned to look at it as well.

“… Aw fuckberries…” 

 

“Absolutely not!” Maranta’s voice raised in pitch. “Church, last time Tucker almost didn’t reappear through the other side. That thing is dangerous- we not doing that.”

“Do you have a better idea, huh?” Church swung his head back towards Maranta. “Because right now the Reds have Tex, locked up, probably injured, and we don’t have time to sit around and work out a plan that guarantees a 100% safety rating!” Though he didn’t exactly have one anymore he felt his heart thudding painfully in his chest. He _had_ to get Tex back. Had to make sure she was safe and not dead and-

She hadn’t even said goodbye.

He loomed over Maranta. “So do you? Have _any_ better ideas?!”

Maranta, to his credit, did not back down. He was gritting his teeth together loud enough to be heard over his helmet radio. “No. I don’t.” He said tersely.

“Then go through the fucking teleporter.” 

 

Church promptly vanished as he sent himself to wait on the other side of the teleporter.

 

**

 

The first to come through was Tucker.

“You okay?” Church asked. His blood and mind were still racing. Everything about Maranta infuriated him and he was still reeling about Tex. Had to make sure she was fine…

“Yeah I’m fine.” Tucker shook his head slightly, turning back towards Blue base. “Come on you two,” he said via the radio.

From where he was standing Church could see Maranta and Caboose atop of Blue base. Caboose was stalling and backing away from the teleporter, and Maranta appeared to be trying to comfort him.

“Does it really hurt that bad?” Church asked watching as Caboose finally ran through.

“Imagine… Imagine putting your dick through a meat grinder.” 

Church closed his eyes. “Jesus fucking Christ Tucker, I didn’t need that mental image.”

“OUCHIES!” Caboose cried out behind them as he came through the teleporter. Maranta was moments behind him, emitting a hiss of pain over the radio.

 

“You lied to me.” Caboose gasped, turning towards Maranta. “You said it would be like a mosquito bite! That… That was not a mosquito bite.” 

“Sorry Caboose.” Maranta said gently, sounding extremely guilty.

“Ooh that was downright _nasty_ of you Maranta.” Church connected over Maranta’s private radio channel. Maranta looked towards Church and though he said nothing Church could feel the glare pricing his visor. He smirked, taking a small pleasure in pushing Maranta’s buttons. 

“Alright so what happens now?” Tucker asked as Caboose and Maranta made their way over. 

“Well I guess it’s up to you three what you do exactly.” Church shrugged. “Just… You know. Be seen, be heard? Go out in the middle of the valley and scream at the top of your lungs I don’t know. Just make sure you keep the Reds distracted long enough for me to get Tex out.”

“How are you going to do that exactly? Ghosts can’t really interact with the physical world right? You’ll phase right through shit.”

“Oh, Tucker, you shouldn’t tell Church that he’s just going through a phase!” Caboose piped up. “It’s okay Church, we love you for who you are, no matter what.”

Maranta sighed. “Different meaning to that word Caboose. Don’t worry.” He was pointedly not looking in Church’s direction now.

“Well, I’m a ghost like you said,” Church explained, “so I can probably posses the body of whoever is guarding Tex and lead her out.”

“That… sounds really hypothetical dude.” Tucker sounded doubtful. 

“Hypowhatnow?” Caboose tilted his head.

“It means Church is _guessing_ at what he can do.” Again, Maranta wasn’t looking at Church but the venom dripping from his tone was clearly meant for him. 

“Look just trust me on this okay?” Church sighed. “Now I’m going to head up the cliffs and keep an eye on the base. Get going.”

 

Maranta sighed heavily into his radio as Church popped up to the cliff front. He could see the base but it was still a little far. He wondered…

A ghostly sniper rifle fell into his ghostly hands. “Aw hell yeah.” Church grinned as he peered through the scope. “This is much better.”

He glanced towards the others. The three of them were now jogging through the canyon, weapons drawn, towards Red base. Once they were close enough they ducked behind one of the larger rocks. Sure enough, a few moments later, a soldier in orange armour came from inside the base.

_Yes!_ Church thought, giving a small fist pump. His plan was working! “Hey Tucker, come in Tucker. Do you read?” He still wasn’t quite sure how he could exactly communicate through the radios of his teammates but he wasn’t going to complain.

“Loud and clear.” Came Tucker’s voice. “What’s up?”

“The plan’s working. The orange one is coming out of the base. I repeat, the orange one is coming out of the base.”

Look at who’s the real soldier now Maranta. Church felt so professional!

“Roger that.” Tucker replied.

“Okay, so keep moving around the side of the base.” Church directed. “Draw out their attention-“

“Wait wait wait.” Tucker cut him off. “I missed that. Caboose was talking to me.”

Church sighed. “I said just keep-“

“I’m not yelling,” Tucker’s voice cut him off _again_ , crackling over the radio. “I’m just telling you to let me finish talking to Church! _No_ , I’ll tell him you said “hi” _later. …_ NO you can’t talk to him! How could you possibly talk to him on my headset-“

Church tuned Tucker out with a groan. “Oh my god…” He began to walk along the cliff. “I can’t believe I actually died for this war…” 

 

Church came up to the edge of the Red Base, spying the soldiers in red, brown and orange. “Okay ghostly powers…” Church muttered as he eyed the red soldier. “Don’t fail me now…!”

It was hard to explain, exactly, what he did. One moment Church was standing by red soldier and the next he was… Slipping into his mind.

“They’re definitely special ops… I haven’t seen troop movement this coordinated since my days on Side-“ The soldier was cut off mid sentence with a choking sound, causing the other two red army soldiers to turn around in surprise.

“Sir, are you okay?” The orange one asked, sounding more confused than concerned. 

“Uh… Who you talking to red?” Church’s voice came out in a southern drawl. “Me?”

Orange snorted, “No I’m talking to Lopez,” sarcasm heavy in his voice. “Because, you know, _that’s_ real rewarding.”

Brown, Lopez Church assumed, turned towards Orange and made to punch him. Orange sidestepped. “Hey!” He growled. “What’d I tell you about that?”

Church flustered for a moment. Perhaps jumping into the body of someone and then trying to impersonate them wasn’t the best idea. “Oh I’m… I’m fine.” He grunted. “I’m just so mad about… About these god damn Blues out here. They got me so god damn mad!” Honestly who spoke like this? Church was glad he didn’t have one. “Why I could just spit!” And Church did so.

He was met with silence from Lopez and Orange. “Um. Sir?” Orange asked slowly, his head tilting to the side. “Did you just… spit inside your own helmet?” He sounded disgusted.

Church coughed awkwardly. “Uh. Yeah. Yes I did.”

“… Permission to speak freely Sir?”

“Go ahead-“

“That’s really fucking gross.” 

Church looked about awkwardly. “Yeah I’m… I’m going to go clean this up. Uh. You two just… Stay here. Stay here and… And watch out for those damn dirty Blues. Yeah.”

“Wait what about-“

 

Church damn near fled the scene before Orange could continue. He made his way down into the depths of Red base. _Just have to find Tex…_ he thought, gritting his teeth.

He rounded a corner and suddenly there she was. She was pressed back against the wall, still in her armour, arms crossed over her chest. Honestly she looked bored, staring at the maroon soldier who was watching her. Now to just get this asshole out of the way…

“Hey man. What’s up? … Yo.” He clumsily stumbled over his words, staring at Tex rather than speaking directly to Maroon. 

Maroon turned around and Tex lazily turned her head towards Church. “Uh… Hey. What’s going on out there Sir?” Maroon lowered his gun.

“What the- why nothing!” Church said quickly. Dammit he was still stumbling over his god damn words! “W-why would you ask me if something’s wrong?”

Maroon paused. “I… I think that’s a perfectly normal question in a time of war.” 

“Yeah well… I don’t- I dunno. You’re starting to act kind of… suspicious… there…other red guy. So… I’mma keep my eye on you.” 

If it weren’t for the fact he was already dead Church probably would have shot himself right there. Could he botch this rescue mission up any more?

Maroon began to turn around. “Sarge, I’m starting to think that-“

The moment his back was turned Church charged forward and pistol whipped Maroon in the back of the head. He went down like a sack of bricks.

Tex sprang off the wall, going from lazy to ready to fight in mere seconds. “What the hell are you doing?!” She might have been weaponless but Tex raised her hands up in a fighting stance.

“Tex! It’s me, it’s Church!” His heart thudded in his chest. “I’ve come to rescue you!”

Tex’s feet shifted on the floor, as if she was about to take a step backwards. “Church-“ she snorted, “you’re kind of short to be Church.” 

“Wha- oh yeah right! The armour.” Church stepped sidewise, slipping out of the sergeant’s mind.

The red soldier made a choking sound again as Church appeared beside him. Tex turned her head. 

“What in Samhell…? Where the- … Who spit on my visor?” Sergeant glanced around, continuing to stutter for a moment. 

“Tex, there’s not much time to explain.” Church said quickly, taking advantage of the Sergeant’s dazed state. “So I’m just going to give you the summary here okay? I’m spirit now, and I’m trapped in the physical world. I possessed this red guy,” he gestured with his thumb, “so I could sneak into the base and rescue you while the rest of our guys run about in the middle of the canyon, dressed in black armour that they got from going through the teleporter.”

Tex stared at him for a moment, saying nothing. Church prepared himself for an onslaught of questions. Or perhaps just a hurling of insults.

“Okay.” She said instead, nodding slowly.

“Wha-“ Church spluttered. “That’s it? “Okay”?! You’re not surprised by any of this?”

“No it.. it pretty much all makes sense.” She crossed her arms lazily over her chest again. 

“… Come on, not even the whole “Church is a ghost!” thing?” He asked shaking his head bewildered. “That didn’t do anything for ya?” He was, perhaps, hoping she’d express.. Something at that. Was it too much to hope she’d be upset?

“I can see right through you. It’s pretty obvious.” There was a laugh to her voice.

Church wasn’t at all surprised that her laugh could both at once lift his spirits and annoying the fuck out of him. But… she was safe now. That was all that mattered.

“Okay well… let me hop back in this guy and we’ll get out of here.” He shrugged, before focusing back on the sergeant. 

Sergeant looked towards him at that, getting out half of a “What in the hell-“ before choking. A moment later and Church was back in control. 

“Alright there we go. Come on.” He began to walk towards the exit.

“You know that accent kind of suits you.” Tex said dryly, sounding a little less amused now. 

“Oh shut up.” Church growled as they stepped out into the sun. “It does not. I sound like an asshole.”

“That’s kind of what I meant.”

Church shot her a look. He didn’t care if his face was blocked by the visor, or that the face wasn’t even his to begin with. “I JUST rescued you, could you not with the insults?”

Tex snorted but said nothing.

Church sighed. “Alright. I’ll make one more distraction and then you run up to the teleporter and escape. Ready? One, two three-“

 

BANG!

The sergeant’s body fell to the ground and Church was left standing above it. “What the-“ he spluttered incredulously. “Where did my body go?!” He looked down and bit back a curse. “You’ve got to be KIDDING me!”

“Tucker did it!” Caboose’s voice came over the radio. This time Church swore loudly. 

“Just run- Tex, just go I’ll be right with you!” 

Tex didn’t need to be told twice. She took off for the teleport atop of Red base as Orange and Lopez jumped down to the ground with a cry of “Sarge!!”

Church radioed the others “GO now, get out of here! We’re going to meet up back at base and when we do, Caboose, you and I are going to have some WORDS.” he growled as he followed Tex.

“What the hell did Caboose do that was wrong?!” Maranta shouted at him over the radio. “He just shot their sergeant!”

“Yeah I was kind of possessing him Maranta!” Church shouted back. “That asshole killed my new body!”

Maranta’s response was a screechy noise of frustration and at that Church shut off the radio.

“See you get along well with your teammates.” Tex grunted before going through the teleporter.

Church sputtered angrily, momentarily rooted to the spot. Down below he could hear Orange shouting, “You gotta breath man! Don’t you die on me!”

His team certainly hadn’t done anything like that for him. Church was, as he ever was, surrounded by assholes and morons.

At least now he had his girlfriend back.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY ALL! I recommend reading chapters 1 and 2 again- I've updated them so they flow better and are generally better written.
> 
> Many thanks to Salt aaaaas always for helping me edit this! <3

Across from Church stood Tex. Off to the side stood Maranta, Caboose, and Tucker. All three looked like they were ready to bolt at the first given opportunity. Tex was leaning against the base wall, looking almost lazy save for the pistol in her hand and the way she was staring Church down.

For the past half hour since returning to the base, Church and Tex had been arguing back and forth. “Look,” Tex was saying, miming yawning, “as far as I’m concerned, I’m square with you.” 

The three stooges looked from Tex to Church.

“Excuse me?” he sputtered. “I saved you from a life of imprisonment!” He threw his hands into the air. “How does that make you square with me?!” 

Tex shrugged, voice dropping dangerously. “Because _I_ didn’t kill you back on Sidewinder.”

Church faltered. Her voice had done that more often with that AI in her head. And it was still there. She might have sounded like Tex, but how much was she in control? How close was Tex from falling into the backseat while the AI murdered them all?

Well. All but him. Being already dead did help save you from dying again. 

“You know… I-I don’t really see how not killing someone is the same thing as doing them a favour…” he faltered, watching the pistol carefully.

“Well, if you don’t appreciate it…” She lifted her pistol up towards him. “I could just kill you right now.” He could hear the grin in her voice. Tex? Or the AI?

Either way he scoffed. “No you can’t. I’m already dead, bitch! I guess the joke’s on you!”

 

“Really Church-“ Maranta began but was abruptly cut off as Caboose stepped forward with a cry.

“STOP IT. Stop fighting!” He looked rapidly between Church and Tex. Church turned to him, bewildered. “Can’t you see that you’re tearing us apart?” He honestly sounded on the verge of tears. “What about us?!”

“… What about you?” Tex sighed, even as she lowered her pistol.

“We helped you too.” Caboose gestured towards himself, Maranta, and Tucker. “And what do we get? Nothing!” 

To Church’s surprise Tex actually faltered. “Well yeah but…” 

“Yeah but nothing.” Church growled slightly. If he could work this angle to his advantage… “He’s got a point.”

“I helped them get the flag back.” She said after a moment. “So there.”

“Yeah, but you were paid to do that.” Tucker pointed out. “But we rescued you for free. It was a favour. We could have let you rot in the Red army prison.”

“Well I wouldn’t go that far…” Maranta shuffled on the spot, turning to look at Tucker.

Tucker shrugged. “It wouldn’t have made any difference to us.”

“Fine,” Tex sighed heavily, placing her free hand on her hip as she holstered her pistol and pushed off the wall. “I’ll stay as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing.” She swung her head towards Church. “After that? I’m out of here.”

Church felt his non-existent heart thud painfully. He couldn’t let her leave. Not until he had least got that blasted AI out of her head. 

Tex walked towards Tucker. “So what do you need me to do?”

“Why are you asking me?” Tucker shook his head. “I have no idea! If you knew how to fix the tank I’d have you do that.”

“Mhmm. Okay.” Tex nodded. “I can do that.”

Caboose practically leapt on the spot. “Wait! You know how to fix Shelia?!” He gasped, clapping his hands together. “I love you.” 

“… Right.” Tex said slowly, glancing at Caboose. “Well I’m going to head in the base and get some tools. You four,” she gestured at all of them, “try not to get in my way.” Again, her voice deepened, warning of pain and misery. She turned and ducked into the base.

 

“… Some girlfriend you have Church,” Tucker mumbled.

“Oh shut up Tucker.” Church snapped. “I’m working on it, okay?”

“Working on what?” Tucker asked incredulously. “Dumping her and finding a girl who isn’t batshit insane?”

Church rounded on Tucker only to find Maranta had already punched Tucker in the arm. “Ow!” Tucker pulled back, rubbing his arm. “What the fuck Maranta?”

“Could you stop it with that?” Maranta growled. “I swear if you call her crazy or insane one more time…” 

“But she is!”

“You’re forgetting the part where she has a vicious AI stuck in her head.” Church looked towards where Tex had walked into the base. “So. It’s not so much that she’s insane but that something else is putting her in touch in with base, horribly violent, instincts.”

“… Yeah she just sounds like a very mean lady.” Caboose piped up. “But I wouldn't say she’s craaaaazy.”

“… Thank you Caboose.” Church sighed. “Look, you three just focus on the war okay? Just try not to get killed by the Reds. … Or Tex.”

“I’d really appreciate if you could keep your cr-“ Tucker glanced at Maranta, “er… Your horribly violent and trigger happy girlfriend from shooting us.” 

“I’ll deal with Tex, okay?” Church snapped.

“Are you sure you won’t need help with that?” Maranta asked suddenly.

Church swung his head to face him. “What?” he asked, surprised.

“You don’t have a body, Church.” Maranta pointed out. “What you can do is limited. And, if I can, I’d like to help her out.”

“Wait really?” Church was still confused. “You want to help out.”

“I mean it’s bad enough that she has to deal with you as a boyfriend.” Maranta shrugged. “She shouldn’t have to deal with something else trying to control her every action and making a mess of her life.”

Church bristled. “How about you fuck off Maranta,” he spat. “I’m not a controlling boyfriend.”

“Maybe not, but you’re annoying as hell I imagine.” Maranta replied dully. “And either way, you’re _going_ to need help.”

He was right, though Church loathed to admit it. If he wanted to get that AI out her head he was going to need all the help he could get. 

 

“Hey!” It was Tex, reappearing at the entrance of the Blue base. “Come on, lead me over to the tank. The faster I get it fixed the faster we can stain this valley red.”

First order of business then. How to keep Tex here long enough so he could even begin to formulate a plan to get the AI out.

 

**

 

Church popped back over to where Maranta, Caboose, Tucker were. Tex was hunched over by the tank a few feet away. “Take it easy guys…” He said softly, continually glancing towards the Red base in the distance. “When I was spying on the Reds I saw they already had their jeep fixed.”

“Geez, they’re fast.” Maranta grunted. “They must have a pretty great mechanic with them.” 

Church nodded. “Unfortunately. So just… whatever you do don’t let them notice us before we’ve got Sheila back online.” 

Caboose was looking at the tank and Tex with a tilted head. “Okay but… even if we get Shelia back online…” He turned towards them, the frown on his face evident in his voice, “she’s still on her back. How are we going to turn her over? It’s not as if we can just lift-“

There was a grunting sound over the radio and the four of them turned at once to see Tex, using only her arms, heave and lift the tank up. It rocked on its side for a moment before landing on its treads with a crash.

“… Is anyone else really turned on right now?” Tucker asked after a moment. Caboose and Maranta nodded. Maranta had his hands over his visor where is mouth would be. Church agreed.

“She is a very strong lady,” Caboose muttered. Murmurers of agreement. 

“Alright, so uh, back on track,” Church coughed. “I’m the least visible so I’m going to head up to higher ground and keep an eye on the Reds. If I see anything I’ll let you know.”

“Oh!” Caboose turned back towards Church. “I’ll come with you! I’ll help.” 

“… That kind of defeats the purpose Caboose.” Church tried to stay patient. He really did.

“Okay but what if I’m really… _really_ …” His voice dropped to a whisper, “quiet?”

It was just _so hard_ to stay patient with Caboose.

“Do you even _understand_ what the term viability means?” Church snapped. From the corner of his eye he saw Maranta shift towards him.

Caboose laughed awkwardly. “Ohhhh that’s a good one Church. _“Do you know what visibility means”_ … Ha…”

“… Seriously. You don’t know what it means, do you.” 

“… No.” Caboose hung his head.

Church sighed heavily. “Caboose… Just stay here and try not to swallow your tongue okay-“

“Oh shut up Church.” And there was Maranta. He turned to Caboose. “Ignore him. I mean yes stay here- Church is going because he’s the hardest to see. So the Reds won’t notice him and raise the alarm.”

“Maranta I don’t know how you stay patient with him.” Church rolled his eyes. “Just keep the idiot here okay?”

Maranta looked back towards Church. “If I were to do that you wouldn’t be able to keep an eye on the Reds.” he deadpanned.

“Ooooh got you there!” Tucker raised his hand in an ‘oh snap!’ motion. 

Church bristled. “That’s it. I’m out.” He stomped off on ghostly legs.

 

As he popped up to the cliff top, Church did his best to forget about the last few minutes of conversation. He didn’t have time to stew over this. He had to come up with a plan to keep Tex here for as long as possible… And come up with a plan for that AI.

Except that, as he edged along the cliff towards Red base, he was greeted with the sight of his own dead body.

The sight of it initially made his stomach lurch. The ice blue armour was twisted and stained red and the exposed flesh and gore was attracting flies. He stared at it for a solid minute, his heart pounding. Then the shock wore away to anger.

“HEY!” he poked his head over the cliff face. “MARANTA. TUCKER.” The two turned towards him. 

“What?” Tucker shouted back, though Maranta’s sigh and “yes?” came through the radio.

“What the HELL is my body still doing up here?!” he shouted down at them, declining to use the radio.

“That’s part of being dead, Church.” Tucker’s voice had a lecturing tone. “Your body doesn’t really move around much anymore. Maybe you haven’t fully grasped the concept yet.”

Church clenched his fists at his side and took a slow breath. “Alright, let me rephrase that then. Why in the HELL haven’t you BURIED my body yet?!” So much for keeping calm.

“Bury? With what?” Tucker gestured around them.

“We looked for shovels back at the base- there weren’t any.” To his credit Maranta did sound sheepish. 

“All we have are pistols and rifles. What do you want us to do? Shoot you a grave?” Tucker scoffed.

“How about shipping me back home then huh?!” Church began to pace the cliff front. “Let the loved ones pay a little respect!”

“They wouldn’t come!” Maranta threw up his hands.

“Holy shit Maranta, could you stop for one second!” Church had the overwhelming urge to tear his helmet off and throw it to the ground. “Just stop with the insults!”

“No I mean _Command_ wouldn’t let us ship your body out!”

Church froze. _“What?”_

“When we called and said “Hey we got ourselves a casualty, we’d like to send him home”, they straight up told us “Sorry dudes! Can’t spend resources sending all your body parts back home. Hope you understand dudes”.” Maranta spread his hands out helplessly. “Church, I’m not even kidding, he called us dude like eight times.”

Church sputtered. What the fuck was wrong with this army?! They sent tanks no one can drive, they sent literal idiots to join their forces, and now they weren’t going to send his body home? What was going on?

“Besides, you got a loved one right here.” Tucker turned towards Tex. “Tex, as one of Church’s “Loved Ones”, would you like to pay your respects?” He asked her, complete with air quotes.

Tex turned away from the tank to look up at Church. She stared for a good few moments before turning back to the tank to continue working.

“That was a stirring eulogy.” Tucker mocked wiping a tear from his visor. “Rest in peace good buddy!”

“Tucker…” Maranta chided softly. 

 

Church clenched his hands together again. “Tucker? Maranta? GET UP HERE. NOW.” He pulled back from the cliff edge to look back at his body. His stomach lurched again though this time it was from the completely indignity of the situation. He had _died_ for this stupid war and they wouldn’t even send him back home?

He glanced down at his ghostly hands. Did he really mean so little to command?

The scuffing of metal power armour shoes in dirt alerted Church to the arrival of the others. He looked over his shoulder to see Caboose had tagged along as well. Tucker stopped a few feet away, shuffling as his helmet dropped to point at Church’s body. Despite his early words, he seemed to look just as guilty as Maranta, who was standing awkwardly behind Tucker.

Caboose, as always, seemed woefully ignorant of the situation.

Church looked over the three of them. “I am _not_ happy about this.” He barely kept his voice at normal volume. 

Caboose looked over his body and up at Church. “I have an idea.” 

“What is it?” Maranta asked, looking over.

“Well, since Church possessed that red guy,” Caboose gestured towards the Red base, “and took control of him, why don’t you just possess your own body?”

Tucker slowly turned towards Caboose and Maranta sighed and put his head in his hands.

“Oh I see. So that way, I would be living inside of my own dead body.”

“Yes!” Caboose nodded enthusiastically.

“Unable to move.” Church deadpanned. “Just… laying there in the sun. Rotting for all eternity.” He gestured towards his corpse.

Again Caboose nodded enthusiastically. “Yes!”

“Okay, Caboose. I’ll be sure to get right on that!” Church snapped loudly.

Caboose sniffled slightly, turning away. “I think you are a mean ghost.” 

 

“Dude.” Tucker said over the silence that followed, waving a hand in front of his visor, “you really stink.”

Church snapped his head to look at Tucker. “What?”

“Your body. It stinks.” Tucker mimed pinching his nose. 

“Oh my god, Tucker…” Maranta continued to hold his head in his hands.

“Tucker,” Church fought to keep his voice even, “the first chance we get you are going to bury my body.”

“Oh quit your bitching.” Tucker gave a dismissive wave. “Nothing’s going to happen to it.”

“It doesn’t matter! It’s a freaking indignity!” Church jabbed a finger in its direction. “My body fought hard for this army and it deserves to be put to rest.”

“Look, Church, I’m sorry we left it.” Maranta spoke up, dragging his hands down from his helmet. For once he didn’t sound annoyed or angry at Church. “We’ll bury you, first chance we get.”

Alright, Maranta had earned one brownie point with him. He had a lot of catching up to do though with all the other ways he had been a pest, however.

“Eh I think he should get over it.” Tucker scoffed. “You’re already dead, Church. What’s the worst that could happen?” And Tucker just lost brownie points.

Before Church could answer, Caboose suddenly gasped and pointed up. “Look! Birds! … Why are they circling like that?”

Church looked up. Sure enough there were several black shapes were circling overhead. “Urg… God…” he groaned. “Look just… please come on. Do something about it okay?”

Maranta nodded as Tucker sighed heavily. “Fine fine okay. We’ll do something about your dumb, smelly body.” He got an elbow nudge from Maranta for that.

 

Shaking his head Church looked back down towards the tank. Tex was still there, kneeling and working away. His body could wait. She was more important.

“… How long you figure until Tex fixes the tank?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Not much longer.” Tucker glanced down with him. “She said it’s almost working again! Once the gun’s back online she’ll get it moving again.”

“Honestly it’s surprising how fast she’s working…” Maranta shook his head. “Impressive really.”

“That’s just fantastic.” Church growled, stepping back from the cliff front.

“And why would that upset you?” Tucker looked back towards him.

“Because as soon as she gets the tank working she’s going to use it against the Reds.” Church explained gruffly. “And then they’re all going to die.”

Maranta shifted slightly and looked down at the tank. “Ah…”

“Uh hello? The Reds dying is a good thing!”

“No Tucker, it’s not a good thing.” Church shook his head. “Because as soon as they’re dead, Tex leaves. And I still haven’t figured out a way to get that AI out of her head.”

Caboose raised a hand to his visor. “AI-“

“Shut up, Caboose.” Church rolled his eyes. “And if I don’t get it out before she leaves-“

“If she leaves you won’t ever find her again…” Tucker said slowly, understanding.

“Right.” Church nodded. And he couldn’t risk that. Tex was a lot of things. Tex had done a lot of shit. But she didn’t deserve to be stuck with that AI for all eternity. 

And who knows. Maybe if Church got rid of that AI, the two of them could be moderately happy again.

“So what are you going to do?” Tucker asked, glancing back down towards Tex and the tank. “She’s getting close to finishing…”

“I… I guess I’m going to do the only thing that I can do.” Church chuckled dryly. “I have to warn the Reds before she fixes the tank.”

“Then they’d have time to prepare…” Maranta nodded. Church was glad he wasn’t arguing about the plan for once.

Tucker however was less than pleased. “You’re switching sides?” he gasped indignantly. 

“I’m sorry guys.” Church shrugged. “I don’t have much choice.”

“Uh… Uh Church?” Caboose raised a hand. “What happens then the Reds out here… Stop Tex? And then they come also with guns and they find us…?” His voice trembled a bit at the end. 

“We’ll be fine Caboose…” Maranta said gently, patting his arm, though, he sounded a tad worried too.

“Well, I’ll try to help you as best I can.” Church promised as he began to fade and shift himself over to Red base. “Good luck guys!”

They were going to need it.

 

**

 

Church appeared on the top of Red base, just behind Lopez. Ahead stood Orange and Maroon, bantering and bickering as usual.

“Hey.” Maroon was asking as he looked out over the canyon. “Ever wonder why we’re here?”

Orange slowly turned to face him. “No.” he said tersely. “I never, ever, wonder why we’re here.”

Church slipped into Lopez’s mind and-

For a moment, he stood stunned. Holy shit, this wasn’t a guy at all. Lopez, it turned out, was a robot.

Well, that explained why the Reds got their jeep back online so quickly. He must be their mechanic.

Though, despite being a robot, Lopez still made an odd series of sounds as Church settled into control. Orange and Maroon turned.

“Mhmm?” Maroon tilted his head. “What’s wrong with Lopez?”

“I don’t care…” Orange scoffed.

“Hey uh Lopez! You okay man?” Maroon asked.

“Guys!” Church said quickly, “I need to give you a… warn…ing?” He blinked. That was not English coming from his mouth.

That was _Spanish._

“What? Why am I speaking Spanish?” He glanced around wildly. “I don’t actually speak Spanish- is this fucking robot set to Spanish?!”

Maybe the Reds had some bilingual people on their squad. That was the only explanation. 

“… Uh. Sure,” Maraoon said slowly.

“No, listen to me!” Church continued urgently. “The mean woman is going to kill you! She’s fixing the tank!”

Orange glanced to Maroon. “See he’s just spouting the same old Spanish junk. Probably just insulting us since we can’t understand him.”

Son of a fucking bitch.

“Why the hell,“ Church began angrily, “would you guys have a Spanish Robot _if none of you speak Spanish!”_

His radio crackled to life. “Calling Church, come in Church.” It was Caboose. “This is your close, personal friend, Private O’Malley!”

O’Malley? Wasn’t he Caboose?

“Come in Private Church, do you copy?” Caboose, or O’Malley or whatever, continued, “Soldier unit Tex almost has the armour vehicle situation rectified. We require verification of your mission… Ness. How is your progression?

If Church had stopped to think about it, he might have noticed that Caboose’s vocabulary had tripled in size and that his tone was completely different. But Church was currently panicking that his current body possession choice couldn’t speak a word of English and the Reds didn’t speak a word of Spanish!

“Caboose! No one here is listening to me!” Church threw his hands up in the air. “I can only speak Spanish for some reason!” 

The radio went silent and Church cursed.

“Okay, Lopez, can you shut up already?” Orange sighed. “Some of us are trying to catch a little shut eye here.”

“A little shut-“ Maroon turned on orange. “Grif, you’re supposed to be keeping watch with me!”

“Ohhh is that what we’re doing?” Grif yawned over his radio. “Sorry Simmons, I didn’t sleep very well last night.”

“You slept for ten hours!”

“Yeah, that’s four less than I usually like to sleep. Plus I missed out on my midday nap earlier because SOMEBODY decided to remind Sarge to run drills.”

“Running drills is an important part of being a soldier!” Simmons sputtered.

Well, it was comforting to know that Red team was also full of idiots. Now if only he could make these idiots understand Spanish.

 

Church stepped forward, getting their attention again. “Listen to me! Biiiig. Taaaaaaank.” He gestured wildly with his hands.

“Hey.” Grif folded his arms over his chest. “I think if you’re going to live in this country you should speak the language.”

“What country?” Simmons scoffed, clearly annoyed. “We’re off planet! There’s not even any true colonies here- just military bases!” 

“What are you, a communist-“ Grif began when

 

_KABLAM!_

The spine chillingly familiar sound of a tank’s gun going off blasted right nearby.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Church cried out in unison with Grif and Simmons. The two of them ran down one of the ramps, leaving Church alone.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!” Church screamed over the radio. “You guys let Tex finish fixing the tank?!”

“Church-“ It was Maranta now, “we can’t understand you but I’m going to assume you’re mad about Tex. There wasn’t anything we could do- she didn’t announce that she was done. Just suddenly got in the tank and drove off!”

Church swore loudly, ducking behind a wall as another tank shell landed nearby.

It wasn’t long before Grif and Simmons returned with their Sergeant in tow. Apparently, he had somehow survived a shot to the head. 

“Hey, what’s going on up here?” And now there was someone in pink armour! Church looked between them wildly. How was he going to keep Tex from killing them? Well, killing all of them. If one or two survived, then she’d still stay right?

“The chick in the black armour’s back!” Grif explained hurriedly. 

“What chick?” Pink asked, ignoring a blast from the tank that struck dangerously close. “The one who stuck the grenade to my head?”

“That’s the one.” Simmons nodded.

“The same chick who’s the reason I’m stuck in this light red armour?” Pink growled slightly, looking towards were the shots were coming from.

“Donut…” Grif sighed heavily, “I understand the need to safeguard your masculinity but… really it’s a whole lot faster just to say “pink”.”

Donut rubbed his hands together. “Oh I’ve been waiting for this.” And he pulled out a grenade.

_Oh no._ Church felt his blood run cold. 

“Hey BITCH! Remember me?!” Donut ran to the edge of the base. “I saved something for ya!!”

Church yelled and dashed forward as Donut drew his arm back. He knew, realistically, that he couldn’t possibly throw it far enough to actually reach the tank…

Donut threw the grenade before Church got there. He skidded to a halt, barely keeping from flying off the edge. And that grenade damn near _flew_. 

It flew across the canyon, sailing through the air with a hiss, trailing a blue tail. A sticky grenade then.

And it stuck to the edge of the tank.

_NO!_

 

The tank EXPLODED violently.

“GOD NO! NO NO NO!” Church felt like he was being torn apart. He leapt off the edge of the base and as soon as his feet reached the ground he took off running for the burning hull of the tank. “Tex! Tex! TEX!”

When he got there Tex had already pulled herself from the driver’s seat, hissing in pain as she lay upon the ground. “Oh God, Tex nononono-“ Church fell to his knees beside her. “Tex!” He was still speaking fucking Spanish dammit.

But Tex’s head turned towards him with a cough. “Church…” Her voice was weak. “Church is that you?”

“Y-yeah Tex it’s me-“ Church’s metaphorical heart was in his throat. “I-it’s going to be okay Tex it’s going to-“

“I-it’s gone Church…” She cut him off. “The AI it’s gone…”

“Th-that’s great! That’s great Tex just- just hold on Tex…!” He took one of her hands into his own. 

“Church! Tex!” Church turned his head. Maranta was running down the slope of the cliff.

“Get a fucking medic!” Church screamed causing Maranta to skid to a stop.

“Wha-“ He began, clearly not understanding Spanish.

“MEDIC!” If it weren’t for the fact Church’s voice was currently being projected by robotic parts it would have cracked. “CALL FOR A FUCKING MEDIC!”

Either Maranta understood or just came to his senses on his own, because the next words he said were, “This is Private Maranta calling from Blood Gulch Alpha! We’ve got a soldier down! It’s Freelancer Tex, we need a medic, stat!”

Church turned back to Tex. “See Tex? See it’s going to be okay…” He gripped her hand tightly in his own.

Tex coughed and shook her head. “N-no it’s fine… I’m fine…” With her free hand she awkwardly reached up to pat him. “I’m glad you’re okay Church… That they’re not hurting you here…” Her hand slipped off his face

Shock. She had to be going into shock. “No no stay with me Tex stay with me okay? Don’t you die on me _please_ Tex don’t-“

Her hand in his became limp. He couldn’t hear her breathing over the radio. “Tex?” No answer. “No… No come on Tex you can’t…” Church gave her a shake. Nothing.

Maranta came up behind him. “Someone’s on their way-“ he cut off. “Oh God…”

 

Church did not get up from Tex’s side. He didn’t move until Maranta forcibly dragged him away while Tucker and Caboose- when had they gotten there Church hadn’t seen then approach- carried Tex. He was shouting something about the Reds approaching. 

Church didn’t care.

Church didn’t care at all.

 

**

 

Church sat in front of the graves. 

One belonged to him. It was marked with a Star of David. Maranta had carved it himself, at Church’s request. Apparently his Grandfather had been a carpenter and Maranta had picked up some of the trade. Church’s old body was buried there, finally.

The other grave was marked with a simple cross. Tex was underneath that grave.

It had been hours since they had finished the burial. Everyone had been silent as they worked. Even Caboose didn’t say a word. Maranta had made a motion towards Church at the end, maybe to touch his shoulder or, god forbid, hug him. In the end, he simply turned left with Tucker and Caboose, leaving Church out there alone.

 

He had failed her. Again. First he let those awful things happen to her in basic, allowed her to get wrapped up in that stupid experimental program, and now she was dead. She was dead and gone and she was never, ever, coming back.

Church hung his head and let out a dry sob.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'm uploading the last three chapters all at once, now that they're all finally edited. Enjoy guys!
> 
> Salt's a wonderful human being who helped me lots and lots with this story. =D

It’d been eight weeks since Tex died. 

In that time the Reds had attacked no less than thirteen times. Each time they came suddenly and without warning, charging over the hill to storm the Blue base. Clearly they thought that without Tex, the Blues would make easy targets. Sadly for them, Church was absolutely delighted to shoot at them. _Especially_ the one in pink. The first few attacks, whenever he heard the telltale sign of obnoxious music playing and the revving of engines, Church would pick up his rifle, head to the roof of the base, and start firing without a word.

 

Unfortunately, he was a piss-poor shot as he ever. Tex had always laughed at him during basic. She could be real mean about it, but most of time she’d just shake her head and offer advice, sometimes even coming up beside him to correct his aim. 

That’s how they’d met in Basic. He fed the ground ten practice rounds and he’d heard her laughing off to the side. Church remembered turning to glare, opening his mouth to snap at her, before noticing two things. One was that _her_ target had a grouping so close together that it created a single hole in the chin of the silhouette, and the second had been the amused smirk on her stupid, freckled, gorgeous face. Once he had seen her, it was impossible not to spot her around the base. Across the mess hall during dinner, during PT in the early mornings, in the classroom a few doors down from his… and during pistol practice. They always seemed to have pistol practice at the same time. And every time, Tex would walk away with that absurdly impressive bullet grouping. 

It was both irritating and insanely attractive.

 

Church shook his head, closing his eyes. He’d been reliving various memories of Tex ever since she died. Good ones like the first time she’d sat with him during lunch, they first time they kissed… but he remembered the bad ones too. The time she was first taken into that experimental program, how she had come back changed…

The way her hand fell from his when she died. 

His hands clenched, causing faint sounds of mechanical parts straining in the process, and he bit back a curse.

He still couldn’t believe she was gone. Tex had always been the best. Strong, wonderful, if a little aggressive, and she had been taken out by a pot shot grenade throw. 

It just wasn’t fair.

 

“Hey, Church?” Caboose peeked into his peripheral vision. His hands were innocently crossed over each other, and he was standing up very straight. 

That meant something was wrong. 

Church sighed. “What is it, Caboose?” he spoke in, thankfully, clear English. He refused to look his way.

“Do you thiiiiiink you could come downstairs and turn off the fire alarm in the kitchen?” He could just make out Caboose looking down, shuffling his feet. “See I think someone was trying to make their Mr.Es taste better by cooking them on the stove but I don’t think it went very well… And the alarm is very loud and hurts my ears.”

Church put his head in his hands. “ _Caboose_ , how many times do we have to tell you just eat the MREs _as is_ if Maranta’s not around to help you cook?” Caboose had proven, on no less than three occasions, that he could burn water.

Caboose made a hurt sound. “Church I- I did not do that! It was… it was someone! Probably Tucker. Because he is stupid,” he nodded rapidly.

Church finally turned his head to look at him. “Don’t even start-“ he was cut off by a muffled yell that came in the vague direction of the kitchen. “… Did you leave the stuff just burning while you came to bother me?” His voice was dead even.

“Oh, it shouldn’t be a problem. See, the Mr.E’s were just smoking and made the very loud, very annoying fire alarm happen.” Caboose nodded.

“Well, you see Caboose,” Church stood quickly, “that IS a problem because smoke is usually a sign that something is burning and possibly soon to be in flames.” 

“Ohhh. I see.” Caboose said slowly as Church ran past him. 

 

Sure enough, the kitchen was thick with smoke and the screeching of the alarm threatened to overwhelm his sensors. Church turned down his hearing a little to make it more bearable.

Maranta was by the oven, in full armour, cursing as he lifted a pot with a black, messy substance spilling over the sides. Tucker was by the fire alarm, waving a towel underneath it.

“Jesus fucking Christ what was that supposed to be?” Tucker coughed, turning his head to stare at the pot as Maranta dumped it into the sink.

“I have no idea,” he shook his head, turning on the tap. Water poured out and hissed as it touched the pot, producing a mushroom cloud of sickly green-grey smoke. Maranta visibly gagged and turned the water off.

“ _That_ ,” Church cut in, rushing across the kitchen to open window to clear the smoke out, “was supposed to be Caboose’s lunch. I think.” Maranta and Tucker turned to him in surprise and then to Caboose who made another hurtful noise.

“I wasn’t my fault- someone turned the stove on too hot!” He folded his arms over his chest.

“Caboose-“ Maranta was still still gagging slightly over the radio, “next time just come get me okay?” Despite his words the tone was gentle. “It’s okay to admit you uh… aren’t great at cooking.”

Tucker snorted. “Or, more accurately,” he grunted as he continued to flap the towel, “that your cooking produces a hazardous waste so toxic it’d be a war crime to use on the Reds.”

Caboose slowly turned to face Tucker, staring him down through the visor. Tucker quickly focused back on waving the smoke away from the alarm, not saying anything else. Church found it odd, but decided it wasn’t worth paying attention to.

 

Once the loud screeching had stopped, Church went around to the stove where Maranta was to assess the damage. “So other than a few MREs did we lose anything?”

“Well the pot’s no good anymore…” Maranta grunted slightly, pointing to the wet, black mess that was currently occupying their sink. “And the stove is going to need a thorough cleaning. It should still work though.”

“Well at least he didn’t burn the base down.” Church shook his head, shooting a glare at Caboose. Caboose looked away quickly. “Though, if he had, maybe we’d all get to go home.”

Maranta snorted. “Yeah, right. With our track record, Command would probably send us a “sorry can’t afford to a ship to send you guys home!” letter, written in the fanciest, fuck you script they can.” 

Church hated to admit it but Maranta was probably right. In the three months Church had been here, Command had proven time and time again that they just didn’t care about the four of them here. The medic Maranta had called for never showed up, despite promises that “he’d be there soon”.Other than that useless link to Command they were entirely cut off from the rest of the galaxy here. Church was beginning to think they’d all die here, eventually. Maybe the Reds would get them, or another Freelancer would show up, or maybe Command would just stop sending them food and water-

 

“Church! Hellooooo?” Maranta was snapping his fingers in front of his visor. Church startled back, smacking Maranta’s hand away.

“See, I told you his ears were shorting out again.” Tucker was seated at the table now, head propped up with his hand under his chin. “We’ve got to do something about that.”

“I don’t know enough about circuity to even begin something that complicated.” Maranta sighed, pulling back from Church. “We’ll just have to wait until his ears are working again-“

“I’m fine,” Church cut him off, “just got a little lost in thought.” He focused back on Maranta, realizing he was holding three MREs. “… What is it?”

Maranta held up the packages. “Since we’re all in here and Caboose is still hungry, I was going to turn these into something more edible. Once I’ve gotten the oven cleaned up at least.” He gave the packages a shake. “You want anything to eat?”

A beat. Church stared at Maranta. “You do realize that I’m-“

“Yeah I… I realized how stupid that was as I said it.” Maranta said slowly, lowering his arm. “Still. You’re uh. Welcome to sit with us you know. We’ve been making it a habit to eat together from time to time.”

Church swore a few of his wires crossed. Since Tex had died Maranta had made a show of being less irritable, but this was outright awkward friendliness. It felt a little like pity and Church didn’t like that. He didn’t need anyone’s pity, especially Maranta’s. But it also just felt a little like a general open invitation. A little ‘hey we’re a team stuck in this shitty valley together. Maybe together we can make it feel a little less shitty’. 

Maranta continued to look up at him, waiting patiently for his answer. He could see Tucker sitting up straight at the table, hands off his chin, and leaning forward towards their conversation.

 

Church hesitated a moment before looking away, wanting to shove his hands into the pocket of a hoodie he wasn’t wearing. “Naw it’d just be awkward with the three of you eating and I’m just sitting there staring. Thanks, I guess, for the offer.” He saw Tucker shake his head and slouch back down at the table.

Maranta however made no outward show of disappointment. “Offers on the table if you ever change your mind.” He set the MREs down on the counter and crouched down to fiddle under the sink. “You going back to the roof to watch for the Reds?” 

To be fair, that was pretty much all Church did nowadays. That and get stuck in loop of Tex memories. “Uh. Yeah.” He nodded awkwardly.

Maranta popped back up with several scrubby pads in hand. “Well, give us a shout if they approach. Give us a chance to put our helmets back on.”

Did Tucker snicker? Church glanced over at him. He was propping up his head with both his hands now, not even looking their way. Maybe it was just a cough?

“Yeah. I’ll do that.” Church tapped a finger against the counter for a moment. It almost felt like he was missing out some some sort of joke. But Maranta simply turned away to bring scrubbing at the worse of the blackened stove top. Maybe Tucker found something funny in it that Maranta didn’t mean. He was always ribbing on Tucker and him for teasing Caboose after all. He watched for a moment before turning away and trudging back to the top of Blue base.

 

**

 

The one thing about Maranta’s offer was it was now the occupying thought of Church’s mind. On the one hand that did mean he wasn’t stuck in a Tex loop anymore. On the other, it made him want to tear out hair he didn’t have.

A part of him was convinced this was some sort of joke. That right now Tucker, Maranta, and Caboose- well, maybe not Caboose, but Maranta and Tucker were having a laugh while they had lunch.

Except Maranta playing a joke at someone’s expense didn’t make sense either. He was a lot of things but the one thing he hadn’t been was outright mean. His insults had a bite to them, Church had to admit, but he also had to admit that they were usually in response to something Church had said or done recently. 

So maybe it really was just an invitation? But did that mean it was made out of pity or-

 

Church let out an angry huff, shaking his head. Another stupid thought loop. What did it matter? Joke, pity, or just an honest invite, Church had no plans on sitting with them while they ate. This was a military base. Not a cafeteria. Not to mention he didn’t even like Maranta, or Tucker, and he fucking hated Caboose. He flopped onto his back, staring up at the blue sky. 

The sky never darkened at Blood Gulch except when storms came by.He didn’t quite understand the science about it. Something about the planet being tidally locked. Whatever the reason, the sun was always up, bright and shining, until one of the massive storms blew over. They hadn’t had a storm in a few weeks. Probably were due for one soon.

Church closed his eyes. At least it wasn’t cold. He didn’t like the cold.

 

“Hey, uh, Church?” A voice flittered in through his sensors. Tucker. Church tilted his head back until Tucker came into view. He was standing a few feet away, looking nervous. “Mind if I hide up here with you for a while?”

Church sighed. “Why? Did you little lunch go sour?”

“Naw man, that was fine.” Without waiting for a yes from Church, Tucker strode forward and plopped himself on the ground next to him. “But Caboose was starting to follow me around while threatening me in a weird voice again.”

“Dude, just ignore him.” Church sat up and rested on his elbows. “He’ll eventually get bored and bother someone else.” Probably him, but Church could hope he’d bother Maranta instead.

“It’s really hard to ignore someone who’s threatening me in a scary voice.” Tucker grumbled, slouching forward to put his head in his hands.

“What do you want me to do Tucker? Jesus Christ, I’m not your mother.” Church rolled his helmet and shook his head. “Get Maranta to settle it. Or, better yet, just fucking shoot Caboose and do us all a favour.”

 

“You know sometimes I wonder what you and Tex saw in each other,” Tucker poked at the ground in front of him, “and then I remember that you’re both pretty angry and violent.”

Church opened his mouth. For a moment he was going to defend Tex, explain yet again that the AI had taken everything Tex felt and made it darker, and more violent. But he felt his metaphorical throat tighten at thought of it and his failure to do anything about it. So Church did what he did best.

He covered it up with a snort and an apathetic, “Oh please, she was way worse than I could ever hope to be.”

“See, here’s what I don’t get.” Tucker turned to face Church. “You complain about her constantly, told us about the time she violently murdered your entire base except for you, did nothing but fight and curse at her when she was here- but you risked _our_ lives to rescue her, Maranta had to drag you away from her body, and you spent fucking hours in front of those graves. What gives man? Was she a total bitch or not?”

Church turned off his visual sensors for a moment, reflecting inwards. Tex was… Tex was too complicated for words. At least that’s how he felt. He could spend hours describing every nuanced detail of Tex, both those he found enthralling and those that made him want to hurl her out a window. 

But he wasn’t going to tell Tucker that. “You know, I really don’t want to talk about Tex,” he said tersely, turning his eyes back on to look at Tucker. “Also, I kinda want to be alone right now. So if you could go hide from big, scary Caboose somewhere else that’d be great.”

“Aw come on Church-“ Tucker began to whine.

“GO.” Church growled, flopping back against the ground to show he was done with the conversation.

“I just have one other question about Tex-“

“Tucker I swear to God if I stand up and you’re still here-“

“Why didn’t she bleed?”

 

Church froze in the middle of pushing himself off the ground. “ _What?_ ” he breathed.

“Tex. She didn’t bleed.” Tucker was poking at the ground again. “I dunno man, it’s just been on my mind again. Like there were chunks out her armour but…” He shrugged. “It’s been bothering me. And Maranta too. Keeps saying there’s something off about this whole war.”

Church didn’t respond. At the time he had been far too distraught to notice but… when he thought back to it, back to when her hand slipped from his, Tucker was right. No blood. The ground around Tex had debris from the grenade that exploded the tank but that was it. But Tex had obviously been in pain…

Church sat up fully and glanced down at his hand. Something _was_ seriously wrong. They were stationed in a box canyon in the middle of nowhere, sent vehicles no one could drive, given useless instructions from Command, left to rot instead of having their bodies shipped back home, ignored for weeks despite calling for a medic…

And Tex _hadn’t_ bled. Church clenched his hand. Just what the hell was going on here?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand here you go! Last chapter. Enjoy~
> 
> Salt thanks so much for all your help on this. <3

Though the sun never moved in Blood Gulch, time still passed. It had now been three months since Tex died, and Church’s lot in life had improved a little bit. Maranta was getting easier to deal with, and there were even times Church found himself enjoying time with Tucker. Caboose, however, was still a pain to deal with. Especially when his little spats with Tucker got out of hand. 

Such as the spat happening now. Tucker was stomping up behind Church and doing his best to ignore Caboose, who was trailing behind _him_. “I’m telling you he’s _crazy_ -“ Tucker glanced around to ensure Maranta wasn’t there before continuing, “he keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice!”

Behind him Caboose scoffed. “No I didn’t!” he protested, stopping beside Tucker. 

Tucker edged away from Caboose, putting himself closer to Church. “So you’re saying “I’m going to cut off your head and give it to Church as a birthday present” wasn’t a threat you made when I asked you to stop poking me to get my attention?” He jumped as Caboose gave a laugh, and hide behind Church.

“What the- _Tucker_ -“ Church growled as Tucker crouched behind him, hands on his shoulders. It looked ridiculous, given that Tucker was easily a foot taller than him.

“You know I think you’re taking my words a little out of context…” Caboose shook his head and put his hands on his hips. 

“What context?!” Tucker stood up straight, putting his weight down on Church’s shoulder. Thankfully Church’s robot body was able to handle Tucker’s weight. “What could _possibly_ be the context for-“

 

Church sharply pulled away from Tucker, causing him to stumble. “This has got to stop.” 

“Thank you! I’ve been saying that for-“ Tucker stood up straight, still keeping Church between him and Caboose, but Church was pulling away with a growl.

“No, I mean this goddamn feud you two are having!” He pointed an accusing finger at them. “Every other day it’s “Church, Caboose did this” or “Church, Tucker said this” and I’m fucking sick of it. You’re goddamn adults, can you at least act like-“

“Uh, excuse me?” A voice spoke up behind him. Church stalled a moment. That was too deep a voice to be Maranta. And, since it wasn’t preceded with a shower of bullets or the revving of a warthog with Tejano music, it probably wasn’t the Reds.

A quick glance over his shoulder revealed a stranger in purple armour. He didn’t seem armed, so Church didn’t see cause for alarm. “Hey pal? One second. In the middle of something here.” He turned back towards Tucker and Caboose. Tucker was edging away from Caboose again. “As I was saying- you two are goddamn adults. Stop running to me every single time you two have an issue with each other!” He jabbed a finger towards the base. “Better yet, if you really can’t solve it yourself, go bother Maranta because I literally couldn’t care any less about whatever it is.” 

 

Behind him the newcomer coughed loudly. “Excuse me?” he repeated, stepping more into Church’s view.

Church took a moment to rein in his temper and turned to face him. “Yes. Okay. Hello. Who are you.” He kept his voice steady and even as he looked the stranger over. This was the first time he’d seen purple armour out here. Maybe he was supposed to be some sort of neutral party?

Before he could answer Tucker was suddenly up beside Church again, a hand on his arm. “He’s doing that thing again!” Church swatted him off.

“Uh… my name is DuFrense…” DuFresne glanced around, shuffling from foot to foot. “Are you Private Maranta?”

“No, I am not Private Maranta. My name is Church.” He shook his head. “And this would be Private Tucker and Caboose. Maranta’s in the base- hang on a minute.” Church switched the channel of his radio. “Oi Maranta, get out here! Got a visitor.”

“Wait- a visitor?” Maranta’s voice came back, sounding surprised. 

“Yeah someone asking for Private Maranta.”

“Oh.” Maranta sounded disappointed. “Alright, I’ll be right out.”

Church had to snort a little. Who could Maranta have possibly been hoping would visit them in the ass crack of the galaxy?

Light blue armour appeared in the doorway of the base. He did a double take upon seeing DuFrense. “Uh… yes? Who are you?”

“DuFrense.” He repeated himself. “I received your call for a medic-“

One moment Maranta was in the doorway, the next he was right in front of DuFrense. “Our call?” he sputtered, throwing his hands into the air. “Our _call_?!” 

“Er…” DuFrense took a step back.

“Yeah that was like… three months ago.” Caboose spoke up, head tilting to the side.

Tucker snorted, shaking his head. “Yeah, what did you do? _Crawl_ all the way here?”

“Look,” DuFrense said defensively, stepping back from Maranta, “I came as quickly as I could-“

“Are you trying to tell us… that the closest medic Command has to an active battle field… was three fucking months away?!” Maranta’s voice suddenly shot up in pitch and volume, causing DuFrense to flinch away.

“I-I did the best I could.” He coughed. “Look just… direct me to the patient. I’ll do what I can now.”

Church clenched a fist. “Well,” he said slowly and gestured towards the graves in the distance, “she’s about fifty yards behind you… and six feet straight down.”

DuFrense froze a moment before turning around and wincing. “Oh I… I’m sorry for your loss.” Maranta stomped away from DuFrense, muttering angrily.

Church took a step forward, contemplating for a moment what the consequences of punching DuFrense in the face would be. In the end he simply shook his head and said “Oh yeah thanks man,” keeping his voice low and apathetic.

“W-who’s in the other grave?” DuFrense stuttered, turning back towards them.

“… That would be me.” Church deadpanned. “I’m in that grave.”

“… Right,” DuFrense nodded slowly, his voice heavy with sarcasm, “of course.”

“See-“ Caboose suddenly bounded forward, “he got killed by uh this crazy run away tank-“

“Or by the idiot driving it…” Tucker muttered off to the side.

Caboose looked sharply at him before continuing, “ANYWAY, then Church came back as a ghost! And took over a Mexican Robot’s body.” he finished sunnily. Church rolled his head with a sigh.

“So… wait,” DuFrense looked over the four of them, “no one here is actually hurt?” he asked, surprised. 

“Again, we called you _three months_ ago,” Maranta growled. “That’s more than enough time for us to either heal on our own or drop dead from lack of medical care.”

DuFrense continued to fidget. “Well then I can just check you three out and be on my way-“ he began, unholstering a strange device from his hip.

“Uh…” Tucker pulled back, though kept his distance from Caboose, holding his hands up. “Is this going to be one of those things where I turn my head and cough?”

“No no,” DuFrense shook his head as he pointed his scanner at Church first, “I’m just going to check your vitals.” 

“Oh!” Caboose turned towards Tucker, “I bet I have better vitals than you!”He puffed out his chest in a challenge before deflating and looking towards Maranta. “What’s a vital?” Maranta did his customary sigh at Caboose’s antics before softly explaining what DuFrense was doing.

Church began to frown. “Wait a moment, wait a moment,” he said, stepping forward and causing DuFrense to lower his scanner. “On your way? I don’t think so bud. Aren’t you here to fill out our squad?”

“No I’m just here to…” he coughed, “well, I _was_ here to help with Agent Texas-“ he cut off as he glanced back towards the graves. “…I’m just here to help in the canyon as needed.”

Church stepped right up into DuFrense space. “First of all, _great_ job on the Tex thing,” he growled, looking up him. “Mission fucking accomplished. Second? The way we need you to assist,” he pointed down the valley towards Red base, “is to help us kill all the Reds.”

DuFrense shuffled on the spot a moment before pulling back from Church and aiming his scanner towards Maranta. “Well, even if my orders didn’t expressively prohibit me from doing that… I still wouldn’t. I joined the army as a conscientious objector.”

“A con… who?” Tucker stumbled over the word as Maranta scoffed loudly, looking away from DuFrense.

DuFrense sighed as he moved on to scan Tucker. “I’m a pacifist.”

“You’re a thing babies suck on?” Caboose tilted his head to the side. 

“Naw man you’re think of a pedo- _fuck_ what the hell!?” Tucker cut off as Maranta suddenly turned back to whack Tucker in the helmet.

“Dude. Not a funny joke. Kind of tasteless really.” Maranta scolded as Tucker began to mope.

“Yeah, Tucker, I’m pretty sure the word Caboose was thinking of was “pacifier”.” Church sighed. Tucker mumbled something under his breath, pulling away from Maranta sullenly.

 

Finally, once Caboose was scanned, DuFrense put his scanner away. “Everyone here checks out.” He said steadily, most of his earlier nervousness gone. “Can you point me towards Red base again?”

“Why?” Tucker asked having mostly finishing pouting. “Aren’t you pacifist or whatever? Thought you weren’t going to fight them.”

“Oh, I’m not going to fight them!” DuFrense shook his head quickly. “Resources are low so… well I’m on loan to both armies.”

“Are you really telling me that not only is Command unable to keep medics nearby but is really unable to keep their own supply of medical personal?” Church shook his head in disbelief. “This is so freaking lame…!”

“I’m just going to Red base to see if they need any help. I won’t be doing anything that causes direct harm to you guys, technically.” DuFrense argued.

“You know I’d say making sure their guys are still able to shoot at us is causing is direct harm…” Tucker muttered, kicking a rock towards DuFrense.

Church rolled his head. “Well if you’re heading towards Red base I would keep that little medical thingy of yours in its holster until they know you’re friendly. If they see you carrying that they’re going to shoot it right out of your-“

 

BANG!

 

A bullet ricocheted off the ground near DuFrense, causing him to leap away with a shout.

“… Yeah just like that. SCATTER!” Church screamed and bolted.

Caboose dashed forward behind a rock while Maranta, Tucker, and DuFrense scrambled backwards to a closer rock with Church. Bullets were whizzing around them now and, in the distance, Church spotted four different shades of red armour.

Looks like the Red Army was here for a tussle. And Caboose had gone and isolated himself.

“Tucker!” Church turned towards him, shouting over the gunfire, “I need you to get over to Caboose, help shore up a defence, and establish a suppressing fire! Hold that position until further notice!”

Tucker turned towards him as best he could when crouched against the boulder. “Church I don’t even know what half of that means,” he grunted, crouching down lower as a bullet bounced off the rock just above where his head was.

“It means-“ Maranta popped up from his position to take a few shots at the Reds, “that you need to get over to Caboose and fire at the Reds with him.” He squatted back down, hands flying up to protect his head as a sudden hail of bullets shot through the space he had been occupying.

“ _That_ rock?” Tucker pointed towards where Caboose was crouched. “Yeeeaaah I don’t fucking think so.”

“We do not. Have time. To discuss this. Tucker.” Church growled, watching Caboose attempt to pop up only to immediately shrink back down to avoid the gun fire. 

“Sure, no time for you to discuss it!” Tucker argued, gesturing angrily. “You get to hang out with Maranta and Nancy-No-Bullets, shooting the breeze!”

“Tucker, Caboose needs help, he’s going to get killed out there!” Maranta gestured towards him.

“I am _not_ running out there eating a machine gun sandwich.” Tucker shook his head rapidly. “No way!”

“Tucker, we’re going to give you covering fire!” Church snapped. “Get your ass over there!”

“Covering fire?” Tucker mocked, incredulous. “Unless that means you’re going to build me a huge, bullet proof wall between me and them, I think you better come up with a new plan. One that, preferably, has me keeping the same quantity of blood that I have _right now._ ”

“Oh sure, no problem,” Church snarled, stalking forward towards Tucker. “Does the blood have to be inside your-“

“For the _love_ _of_ _God,”_ Maranta suddenly shouted, standing, “we do not have time for this!”

“Maranta, what-“ Church began, shocked.

Maranta did not wait. Maranta charged out from behind the boulder, ignoring the rain of bullets, and ran straight for Caboose. For a moment Church watched, stunned, before shaking himself out of it. “Cover him!” He shouted at Tucker, firing at the Reds, “Tucker, cover him!” As Tucker popped up to help, Maranta suddenly crashed into the ground as he reached Caboose’s position with a cry of pain. Church froze. The sight of Maranta on the ground was too much like Tex. He didn’t want to fail, he _couldn’t_ fail, couldn’t be the cause of more deaths-

Maranta got up to his knees, a hand pressed against the side of his head. His voice was strained but Church could hear him directing Caboose over the radio.

 

Church turned towards DuFrense, trying to force images of everyone dead and bloody out of his head, and spoke quickly. “Doc, be ready to get over there and help. Maranta’s going to need medical attention.”

“My name’s not _Doc…_ It’s DuFrense…”

“Yeah okay, but I can’t pronounce that,” Church growled, crouching back down to reload his gun, “so from now on? It’s Doc.”

“I’m not really comfortable with that?” Doc shuffled, trying to keep low to avoid the gunfire, “I’m not a doctor. I’m a medic.”

“And the difference is?” Tucker was poking above the edge of the rock now to fire at the Reds.

“Well a doctor cures people,” Doc explained steadily, “where as a medic just makes people more comfortable. While they die.”

There was a beat as Tucker and Church exchanged a glance. “Mental note…” Tucker shook his head. “Don’t ever get shot.”

“Look, whatever, just get ready to bolt out there! Maranta was hit and they’re still taking heavy fire!” Church was shouting again, pointing angrily towards Caboose and Maranta, both of whom were ducked back against the boulder. “Get your ass over there!”

To Church’s infuriation Doc continued to waffle. “I’m not going to be much good to anyone if I get shot too…” he glanced over and shook his head.

Church bristled. “So help me Doc, if you don’t go over there and help Maranta I’ll-“

His radio crackled to life. “Church, I’m fine.” Maranta’s voice was strained with pain and he was clearly _not_ fine. “But Caboose needs help. He got hit in the initial attack.”

Church rounded back on Doc. “Hear that? They’re both hurt. SO GET. OVER. THERE!” He jabbed Doc in the chest.

Doc recoiled back slightly, rubbing at his chest, grumbling. “You know you don’t have to shout… you _could_ just ask nicely.” Still, Doc finally turned and stepped out from behind cover during a momentary lull in the fight.

 

Except, as Doc dashed forward towards Maranta and Caboose, the bullets didn’t start up again. Confused, Church poked his head from cover. He could still see the Reds gathered together on top of a hill top, almost huddled together.

“… Have they stopped firing?” Tucker stood up next to Church. “Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe they’re out of ammo.” Church snorted though 

“HEY BLUES!” the Sergeant bellowed suddenly, stepping down the hill, “We are giving you a chance to surrender!”

“Surrender?” Church echoed and looked to Tucker, bewildered. “The hell are they playing at?”

“To be fair…” Tucker grunted, standing up straight, “they were kind of kicking our ass.”

“Yeah but I mean why aren’t they _still_ kicking our ass?” Church muttered, putting a hand to his chin. “Sure working out a surrender could mean sweet terms for them but come on. We all just want each other dead…” He shook his head. “Yeah they’re definitely out of ammo.” Church moved forward, turning up the volume of his voice. “What are your terms?” He yelled back.

“Their what?” Tucker tilted his head to the side.

“What they want from us in exchange for not killing us.” Maranta was suddenly there, partially held up by Caboose. He had a hand pressed firmly to the side of his head and he kept jerking back from Doc every time he tried to fuss over him. “I’m fine- just help Caboose.”

Doc huffed as he turned towards Caboose. Caboose was favouring one leg pretty badly.

“Alright Blues!” Sarge yelled, “first we want your flag-“ he cut off before continuing with “to stay right where it is! Keep the flag!” He coughed, sounding a little worried. “But we do want our mechanized droid guy back!”

“Great,” Church scoffed. Given that their robot was currently his body, he couldn’t possibly give it back. Church had absolutely zero desire to be incorporeal again.

Tucker came up beside him, hand clapping down on his shoulder. “Well Church? What’s it going to be?”

“Pfft no way am I giving my body back,” he scoffed, shaking his head and shrugging off Tucker’s hand. “I just got this thing!”

“And don’t think you can keep his nuts!” A beat. “Or bolts. Or other… mechanical parts.” Sarge trailed off somewhat awkwardly.

“Uh-“ Church floundered, flubbing over his words for a moment, while he thought of a suitable lie, “he’s not here anymore!”

“Yeah!” Tucker yelled beside him, helping out. “He left! He was all like “sayonara” and then he just took off!” He made a swooping motion with his hands. 

“That’s not _Spanish_ you idiot,” Church hissed, looking over his shoulder at Tucker, “that’s _French_.”

“S’not French.” Maranta spoke up. Was his voice a little slurred? “That’s Japanese. ‘ _Au revoir_ ’ is French…”

“It doesn’t matter it’s not fucking Spanish either way!” Church snapped. Maranta fell silent and leaned back against the rock, head hanging. Church rolled his head. “Doc, look after him okay?”

As Doc turned back to handle Maranta, Church mulled over an idea. “Hmm maybe… let’s try this,”he muttered, turning back towards the Reds. “Hey Reds! How about a medic! Would you take a medic as hostage?” He could see the Reds huddling up, probably discussing. 

Doc made a strangled eep, looking over at Church with his hands still on Maranta’s shoulders. “E-excuse me- a hostage?!” he squeaked, “I’m supposed to go over there!”

“Yeah but _they_ don’t know that,” Church gestured towards the Reds as he faced Doc. “And if it gets them off our ass and you out of our hair? I’m happy. Though finishing checking out Maranta and Caboose first.”

“Well I’m done with Caboose…” Doc grunted, turning back to Maranta and somewhat wrestling him into a sitting position. “He just lost one of his toes.”

Caboose made a comically loud sniffling sound. “Rest in peace… pinky toe…” he whispered, putting a hand over his heart. “You shall be avenged!” 

Church could only shake his head at Caboose’s lame excuse for a dangerous voice. “Alright well, what about Maranta.”

“I’m trying- Maranta, please, take off your helmet.” He grunted, fumbling for the seals on Maranta’s suit.

Maranta shook his head. “No ‘m fine,” he insisted, the hand covering the side of his head moving to the top of it to hold it down. Church gave a small start. The side of the helmet was cracked, and a chunk was missing out of it. A grazing shot. Could have been a fatal head shot if the angle had been better.

His heart thudded painfully.

Tucker approached first. “Maranta, you are _not_ fine,” he insisted, picking the hand off the top of his head. “The good doctor here-“  
“Medic,” grumbled Doc as began to pop the seals of the helmet.

“Yeah okay, whatever,” Tucker waved him off. ”Doc here promises that at the very least make you comfortable while you die!” His voice was cheery and Doc snapped his head towards Tucker and made a shushing motion before pulling off Maranta’s helmet.

The side of Maranta’s head was matted with blood, though the red was hidden by the dark colour of his hair. He looked _incredibly_ pale, eyes unfocused as he stared at the ground.

He was also very much a she.

 

If Church had a jaw it would have dropped. “What the _fuck_ is this?!” 

“Ohhh right.” Tucker stood up straight and looked back to Church, “you didn’t know yet. Surprise! Maranta’s actually a chick.”

“You knew?” Church sputtered, looking from Maranta to Tucker to Maranta again.

“Dude I’ve known since like… before Shelia blew up the second time. When we started having meals together,” Tucker shrugged. 

“I’ve know since day one!” Caboose pipped up cheerfully. “Because, she said, I am nice!”

Church watched as Doc began to dress Maranta’s head. “What the hell- Maranta!” Chruch stopped forward, “why the hell didn’t you-“  
“Church please-“ Doc held up a hand, “Maranta’s a little faint right now. My scan earlier picked up the fact she’s anemic, so this amount of blood loss is probably not doing her any good.”

Church continued to sputter. “Yes but- what the- how in the hell-“

“HEY!” It was Sarge yelling again. “We’ll take your medic! Send em over!”

Church looked back. Doc was finished now, packing up his first aid kit. “She’ll be okay.” He assured him. “Just make sure to change her bandages. Go ahead and send me over. I really don’t think I can be anymore help here.”

“He- _she-_ was shot in the frigging head!” Church argued, pointing at Maranta.Maranta seemed to wince slightly.

“Just a grazing shot. She’ll be back up and at it in a few hours!” 

“Besides, Church,” Tucker spoke up, “it’s this or your body.”

Church groaned. Tucker had a point. He turned back towards the Reds, a hand clenched into a fist. “Okay fine! We’re sending our medic over! Now what do we get?”

 

**

 

It was the longest two hours of Church’s life. In the end they had agreed to send the Doc over if Grif came forward and admitted that he sucked, among several other things. It had been all good fun, but Church had found it hard to fully enjoy. 

The fact Maranta was a girl did explain a lot. Like his- her voice for one. It just infuriated Church that he hadn’t noticed! He wasn’t that oblivious was he? Hell, why hadn’t she at least told him and Tucker that first day? Maranta had been more upset about them assuming she was sixteen. It was ridiculous. And Church intended to tell her so.

 

He marched into the base after everything with Red team had been settled. Maranta was inside the mess hall, seated at the table. Her helmet was off and placed in front of her, and Church was able to take in her features without all the panic of seeing her covered in blood. The side of her head was bandaged and bits of her short, dark stuck out at odd angles. Her freckles were stark against her skin but she was getting some of her colour back. She was young… but definitely not the sixteen year old that Church had initially believed.

Currently Maranta was prodding at the damage done to her helmet. “Damn…” she muttered, running her finger along the edge, “I got lucky.”

“You can say that again.” Church growled from the doorway.

To his satisfaction Maranta jumped in her seat. “Oh uh… hey Church.” She glanced away and back at him, blinking slowly.

“That’s it? “Hey Church”? No “damn you caught me”, “listen I can explain” bullshit?” Church huffed. He was more irritated and confused than legitimately angry, though most grumpiness in Church was expressed the same way. 

Maranta sighed. “What’s there to explain?” She shrugged slightly, slumping down so her chin rested on top of her helmet. “You assumed I was a guy… kinda like how Tucker, Caboose, and I all assumed Tex was a guy.”

Church wandered over, putting a hand on the table. “Yeah but you guys met Tex _once,_ ” he countered, watching Maranta’s eyes flicker up at him, “whereas you’ve been in the canyon for how long again?”

“Just under four months.” 

“And you never bothered to correct me why?!” Church threw his hands up in the air. This time Maranta flinched badly. “Like Jesus Christ! Is that why you were refusing to take off your helmet earlier? Were you _scared_ of being discovered-“

 

Maranta sat up straight and glared at him. _Hard_. It was nothing like the looks Tex could give him but Maranta had freckles like her… Church faltered.

“No,” she said tersely, holding eye contact with him, “that’s not why. I didn’t correct you because if _you_ couldn’t be bothered to read over the bios of the soldiers being sent your way why should _I_ bother to correct your mistake?” Maranta stood up to glare at him better. “I told Caboose because _he_ wasn’t a fucking asshole to me right out of the gate. Tucker found out when he walked in on me having lunch with Caboose.” She folded her arms over her chest and tilted her head at him. “We agreed not to tell you because it’d be funny to see how long you’d take to notice. Given that I was now submitting reports with my full name taking up literally the entire first page and you _still_ hadn’t, it was a fun little in joke between the three of us.”

“… You send in reports?” Church asked, dumbfounded.

Maranta closed her eyes. “Yes Church. I do. I’m supposed to be reporting back to my superior officer.” She sat down again suddenly, putting a hand to her head. “Fucking blood rush…” She grumbled, not looking at him anymore.

“… Then uh…” Church glanced around, “why didn’t you want Doc to look you over? For the sake of a-a joke?” He snorted a little. “Cause that’s a little-“

“I almost didn’t make it through basic, Church.” Maranta cut him off sharply again.

“Huh?”

“I almost didn’t get into the military.” She rephrased, staring hard at her helmet again. “The recruiter almost laughed me out of the office. The number of times I fell behind in basic was… too many to count. I only just squeaked by.” Maranta clenched her hands in her lap. “So I didn’t want to appear _weak_. It had nothing to do with being a woman. I didn’t want to be hurt bad enough to be shipped home.” She laughed bitterly. “Though, as we’re learning, it’s not like Command really cares do they? They don’t care enough about us to have a medic near by, why would they send an injured soldier home?”

Why indeed. Church glanced away and back, changing the subject to, “why was it so important for you to be in the military? Not everyone’s suited for this life. Big deal.”

Maranta fidgeted a moment before saying, “You’re fighting for Tex now, right?”

Church froze, clenching a hand. “… Yeah I guess.” He kept his voice even.

Maranta nodded. “I’m here for my Dad,” she said simply. “He was in the military before me. Killed in the war.” Her voice was dead even, though Church saw her swallow. “So I wanted to help. The sooner the war ends the better.”

Church regarded her for a moment. Maranta continued to stare hard at her broken helmet, breathing heavily. Church sighed loudly. “Alright come on.” He plucked up her helmet.

“Hey! what are you-“ Maranta stood up, much more slowly this time, brows furrowed.

“You need a new helmet.” He tapped the visor of hers. “Can’t be wearing this piece of shit. Command will probably take forever on it but we can goad them.” He began to walk out of the room. When he reached the doorway he looked back. Maranta was still standing by the table, looking confused. “Well are you coming?” Church snapped. Maranta gave a start before walking after him.

 

On their way to the comms room they passed through the common area. Tucker and Caboose were there, bickering about some inane thing as usual. Caboose’s voice dropped in pitch and Tucker yelped, dancing away from Caboose’s grabbing hands.

As much as Church complained, these assholes were his responsibility. It was his job to keep them safe as the acting Captain. And, as much as he hated to admit it, he’d be upset if one of them died. Possibly. Maybe.

He’d care enough to dig them a grave, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo yeah hope you guys enjoyed that twist! :'D If you enjoyed this little story keep an eye on my account. I'm planning out the next part of the series with Maranta as the main character. Hope you enjoy my self indulgence as much as I do! Thanks for reading! <3


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